Coup de Cœur – Part Two: Therefore is wing’d cupid painted blind!
We fell in love on the internet. It’s the modern way. The one touts their promise, the other falls under their spell and happily ever after they both live. House and owner. You didn’t think I was talking about Two Brains and I, did you? You got that I am talking about our fragile hearts being ensnared by our Maison Carrée?
The house was advertised all over the place – every single immobilier in France seemed to have it on their books. Clock forward two and a half years and hindsight and a bit of experience has taught me that this means nothing. Often an agent will have grabbed the content from an unprotected site and will be advertising it as his own. But we knew where it was and we knew it was the former Tour Seignoural for the perfect little city it sits plumb central in. And it is officially a city even though it would appear to be a small village to modern eyes, and we simply swooned when we found the website for the proprietor who was currently running the little jewel as a Chambre d’Hotes. The description, down to the seductive promise that he is an accomplished masterchef and would cook you local food magnificently if you wished and that breakfast was all conjured from the local boulangerie, epicerie, charcuterie, fromagier, had me wondering why he was selling at all. After all this three bedroomed beauty, including the miraculous bathroom all newly fitted, was kitted out with the most elegant antique country furniture clearly snaffled from local houses of some note and auctions and brocantes and the owner certainly and assuredly had excellent taste. Hold that thought.
Beware the power of the picture! Beware the interweb! What greeted us when we arrived was entirely a different picture. What on earth induced us to go ahead and buy I am not convinced I will ever know. A certain madness unexplained. Assuredly bull-headed stubborn-ness and a sense that this disaster of a place can be, will be, really special and an uncharted recognition that we should be the people to return the house to it’s former unpretentious glory. And give it a properly appointed bathroom rather than what greeted us which I have flatly refused EVER to use. And a kitchen that does not stink in that sickly sweet way of festering food complete with maggots and fresh fly-eggs – sadly it became clear that this was the state that unsuspecting visitors who had booked in on-line found the house in and I sincerely hope that none ever took their host up on the opportunity of his unashamedly trumpeted home made meals – rather they hot-footed it to the Mairie to complain loudly and threaten nasty reviews on the very internet upon which we had found the house languishing apparently so alluringly.
Once we had bought the place, once the place was ours we were hit with the reality that HB² is mostly on the wrong side of the Atlantic and that I, although more than once invited to row that ocean on account of my once-upon-a-time Olympian prowess as an oar puller, I was simply not equipped to begin, let alone complete the task of emptying the house once the ancien proprieteur had taken what he wanted … you guess that bit surely – anything nice, anything pretty. Well, he would, wouldn’t he! There follows the account of the next nine months in which we, collectively being Winnie the Pooh, never lost heart.
…. In the meantime, here I am looking somewhere between despairing and disgusted in the best of the bedrooms the day after we took ownership.
PS: The quote is Twelfth Night – Helen declares of her Demetrius that ‘Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is wing’d cupid painted blind ….’
Trackbacks & Pingbacks
- Coup de Coeur – Part Three: I beg your pardon … | Half Baked In Paradise
- Coup de Coeur – Part Four: Whistle While You Work | Half Baked In Paradise
- Coup de Coeur – Part Five: Perhaps he’d like to come inside | Half Baked In Paradise
- Coup de Coeur – Part Six: Do you see what I see? | Half Baked In Paradise
You do not look too happy!!! Wow
I was beyond not happy. Way beyond!!
yes I am sure!! I love the first paragraph and guessing hmm is this you and your beloved
I assume that the look of despair and disgust is long gone. Looking forward to Part Three which I assume will lead with the quote ” Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer …” in the house you bought. (I had trouble finishing the quote with anything to rhyme with sun and York. I suspect you could do better)
Never assume, Andrew – it makes an ass out of U And me 😉 Glad you liked it – I could probably do a whole post devoted to the various facial contortions the house has provoked so far! In terms of Shakespearian parody, I think you have some future 😉
For this belief much thanks 🙂
can’t wait for more of the saga…and nothing like buyers remorse….xxkat
Thank you …. Hair shirts came with the deal 😉
lovely!!!
Love it!
And yes, at first I did think it was a love story across the Atlantic and confess to being almost disappointed it was the beginning of the bond between house and owner.
However, you brave people have obviously made it work and because of that you surely must now be completely immune to any colourful odours or eventful bathroom experiences…. 😉
I feel I should probably start writing about the love across the ocean thing …. if only to keep romantics like you happy WBFM! As to the house to quote Karen Carpenter ‘We’ve only just begun ….. ‘ Actually strictly speaking I suppose its to quote Richard Carpenter since he wrote it 😉
As a stickler for the correct factual information, I am behind you 100% there Osyth….
Quite right, Bond – the devil’s in the detail. M
A labor of love? Houses are funny things. The nesting instinct runs deep. I love the pictures!
I think everything worthwhile in life has the heart at its centre …. As for the pictures – they appealed to me too …. I was hooked. The reality which I will post later was a little different 😉
Yes. Love is at the core.
When I bought my first house I was quite surprised to see that the sink had disappeared.
The owner made the tenant bring it back.
However given his problems of extraction it was no longer usable.not by me, at least. As to the light bulbs…the less said the better.
That’s classic, Helen! I’m now burning to know what happened with the light bulbs – though given my experience here and indeed on Marcoles with the blighters it may be best to keep me in the dark 🙂
When i first saw the house there were no light bulbs. After the sink drama miraculously light bulbs appeared – but none of them worked!
Ah! Decorative light bulbs ….
I love your face on that picture- looks a lot like mine when I discovered some of the hidden “features” Chez Nous.
The triumph of hope over experience
Haha! I know I’m not alone 🙂
PS, looks a little bit like our house but more symmetrical -scary
It’s certainly square …. we must compare layouts!
Ours looks square from front, but actually has an angled “L” shaped foot print.
well weird……………………………
By the way, have I missed an instalment, I can only count two?
And did he leave any of those mirrors?
No you haven’t – the next bit comes later this evening if I get my act together …. you’ll have to wait and see 😉 Ours is entirely square all round except for a curious bulge between first and second floors at the back. It’s actually surprisingly difficult working with such geometry (mind you I was always pretty pathetic at maths!)
Lovely house and lovely post. Sorry I have been so long responding, but I have been quite poorly (in fact I was reading this post for the first time, when I realised that I was not well…..
I have also read ‘part one’
Do you have any ‘before’ interior photos?
Lindy x
Please don’t apologise, Lindy … I do hope you are getting better now 🙂 the pictures are all before we bought it – taken by the seller to promote his b&b. You will discover how true the expression smoke and mirrors is in the next installment which I am posting later today 🙂
Oh, no! I began on 2. Must go back to 1.
Let’s start at the very beginning (I’m a sucker for ‘The Sound of Music’) 🙂 Tomorrow I will be up early (tonight has been rather disfunctional) and take a really good hike round your site. I am very much looking forward to tomorrow 🙂
Doe is as good a place as any to begin…My all-time Julie Andrews’ movie is Mary Poppins.Although I know the lyrics to all the songs from both these movie musicals and to My Fair Lady (in which Audrey Hepburn stole the part of Eliza right out from under the actress who should have gotten the film role because she was great in the stage play and had a much better singing voice which wouldn’t have needed to be dubbed and life can be cruel like that sometimes even to Julie Andrews, but I digress…)thanks for stopping by, Osyth.
I can see we have a LOT in common 😀
It is funny-sweet to read these posts in reverse order. What a face!
Ha! I’m a fan of backwards (the face is just a face though – whichever way you view it!!)
Just catching up with your posts.. I missed this somehow all along, so rather than start in the middle, I went to part one.. With part 2 I’m captivated and excited to read this renovation adventure ! This could be written oh so many ways.. But you my dear Osyth have the mad writing skills to make this an adventure.. My previous career was restoration and decontamination, you and hubby found a buy that requires both fields.. Can’t wait to see what lies lurking inside those walls as you go !
Oh, I’m so glad you are enjoying the story …. without a story I would be lost! You are very kind about my writing … as our friend the Weird Guy commented to me recently – it just comes out that way. So it’s fortunate if it’s well received! I am most interested in your background – consider yourself on my radar to ask for a bit of advice on certain things. One can never have enough skilled people on the antennae, I feel …. the walls in the cellar are 8′ thick so I hope there are no bodies lurking in them 😉
Hmmm 8′ thick, that could hold a stack of bodies in one little section 😨
But no worries, though my knowledge is 25 yrs since I’ve been in the business, the methods and chemicals are tried and true.. And along with various other contamination remediation, dead body odor and suicide were among them.. But I’m guessing you’d might need a bit of therapy upon finding a body or two in the walls..
This story that isn’t a story has the potential to be a real comedy/horror/drama , written all over it ! 😒
I’m just really hoping we don’t find any poor unfortunate walled in! But I like the makings of this rather gruesome story you have going there!
Oh, no! Your face really said it all! What a nightmare it must have been! But I´m glad to know that it´s now on its way to beauty and glory! 🙂 Totally love the Shakespeare quote – but then I totally love Shakespeare, so it´s no surprise I do 😉
And actually your story totally reminds me of my trial end error when internet dating last year! There it was nearly the same – tall, handsome guy in the internet – but something v e r y different when finally met in person!! 😉 xxx
Reblogged this on Half Baked In Paradise.
I love the look on your face😁
It’s one of my husband’s favourite pictures of me because it just literally conceals nothing!!
Just to let you know I’m keeping up with the re-run 😉 xx
Gold star to that man ⭐️ xx
YaaY, I feel so much better ! In the comments I wrote that I did read the first installment, no false memories ! I just didn’t know about the like button back then I guess.. This was a fun second read.. Our minds remember many details but not all.. This is such a good idea to refresh up to date 🖒
I thought that new readers would get mighty confused if I just jumped in and took up the story where I left off and I also felt that even keen readers like you might have forgotten bits or even chunks – I’m modified that you agree!
All true !
It looks a bit like what my dad, a blunt Yorkshireman if ever there was, referred to as ‘all fur coat and no knickers’. I am of course talking about la maison. I imagine you were in one o those weird situations when your head is crying ‘run away, run away’ but your heart just can’t see what the problem really is. I did he same sort of thing over an old farmhouse in the Yorkshire dales. I’m really looking forward to reading what came next.
The back story forms the spine of the novel. But suffice to say …. I did hear the voice saying ‘no’ something seemed to tape my mouth. And my husband didn’t even hear the negative voice so overwhelmed with eager delight was he! I love, love your father’s expression – that is exactly it in a nutshell!
Loving this! xx
Thank you Jenny …. you are in the privileged position of actually having been inside the house just after we bought it so you know exactly what I am talking about xx
I’ve just pulled a loaf of homemade sourdough bread out of the oven. Someday I hope to make you a loaf at la Maison Carrée.
Ooh! Now that’s an offer I cannot possibly refuse. 😋
You could take your photo and put it on a greeting card with the caption “Don’t give up Horatio!”
I love that idea …. simply love it!
Ah, I remember commenting on the original post light years ago when we were still capable of laughing at the crocks we’d both bought.
Then followed disappointment and despair, then small glimmers; then we are, if not laughing, at least smiling now and then as the carapace crumbles to reveal some gems in our respective hovel. AS I have said , at least yours looked lovely already.
I have perused the photos again, knowing what I know now, and without spoiling it for those yet to read the back story saga, we really should have sounded the alarm bells when we spotted that dodgy stain on the bedroom door in photo 7.
I imagine you and I as nontegenarians being asked how we met ….. hopefully by then we will be falling about with gales of laughter about it all but these houses surely are not for the fainthearted nor those that don’t like a roller-coaster daily! That stain …. it is replicated in various places and in a variety of not-quite the right colours. The only way to lift it is with new best friend – la ponceuse eccentrique which is also not for the thin-blooded!
Hope you are poncering with mask and glasses?
I have problems getting Trev to wear either when sanding, insulating etc
I am and a respirator actually because I don’t trust him not to have used lead based paints …. I may have a picture of me in full PPE (HB2 was astonished that I even knew the term but I worked in nuclear decommissioning for a slightly surreal few years). Tell Trev from me he is very naughty!
Sounds like you have had almost as wide a variety of jobs as me.
Though maybe not as many as some……
Indeedy doody …. I actually quite liked that period as odd a fit as it was!
While I feel for what you have gone through, the story is so well-written I look forward to the next step in the adventure!
Thank you John, that is such a wonderful thing to say. And in fairness we did see the house and still decided to buy it …. it’s hard to explain why – rush of blood to the head, collective moment of insanity but we love the place and the hard work will be repaid in bundles, I am certain. Although it has always been intended as a second home not our principal residence (and we foolishly thought I would move into it in 2013 when we first signed the initial sale documents) we are both of the same heart that really what we are doing is giving the village back their jewel, polished and appropriately dressed for them to enjoy and be proud of for the long haul.
It looks amazing – bravo to you both for your energy, enthusiasm and fortitude!
🙂
Oh boy – this is a fun adventure – looking forward to the next!
Oh I’m so glad it’s fun … it is meant to be!!
Your statement on the bathroom…that alone would seem to merit your look in the last picture!
I cringe at the memory how ….
Holy Moly – – – I just STARTED with this instalment and will have to go back to ‘no 1’…. I could literally both, kiss you and console you in retrospect and swear a bit with you because, guess what, we had the very same experience, maybe worse – in so many ways! And just for the record: On the very, very day we made the final deal pass, I said to Hero Husband: I FEEL SO TERRIBLE ABOUT THIS – CAN’T WE PULL OUT? THOSE PEOPLE ARE SO DISHONEST, THEY ARE CROOKS, WE ARE BEING PULLED OVER THE TABLE (a Swiss expression)….. But boy, we would have lost 10% downpayment on an expensive property, and we DID LOVE THE HOUSE…. So we went ahead and I had time enough to regret it deeply for maybe 4 years counting. We too found furniture we didn’t want and ‘par contre’ they pulled a washing machine careless over the 1920 mosaic of the bathroom AND through the bedroom next to it, over a formerly beautiful parquet. And and and…. the list is endless, suffice to say that 10 days after signing & taking the keys we had a flooding of the basement because the rainwater washed over the ‘holed’ gutters and right down the walls and under the side door to put every one of our ‘stored’ furniture pieces, some 400 books were soaked to be thrown away, etc.
I can still hear your pain because mine is coming back.
At one time HH and I decided NOT to speak about it anymore because we were seriously getting bitter. But time is a great healer. We now have bigger debts than ever but at least a very beautiful home. We can sell it now 🙂
Your saga makes me cringe and smile simultaneously …..oh the woes, oh the madness, oh the tears and tantrums and never agains and oh the joy when it is finished, the pride and delight in the achievement (and the itch to sell it well and start it all again). Kindred you are, kindred indeed!
PS: Your veggie arrangement is absoutely beautiful. We shall have a Christmas party next Sunday and I shall endeavour to make my contributions, of which there will be very many…., look as enticing and gorgeous as yours!
And just one more remark – The furniture situation REALLY carries our name. So, at least you know that you were not the only ones who got duped.
All I can say is it got much worse ….. read on tomorrow 🙁 Thank you for the compliment, I have always been quite a fan of creative veggie arrangements and I am sure your contributiosn to the Christmas party on Sunday will be stunning!
You certainly look as if you have a smell under your nose
Your saga makes all the perceived problems with our house fade into oblivion. Our homes, to me, feel like a second protective skin. We pour so much hope and love into them….and a lot money.
Ali
We have no money to pour (there will be an episode upcoming yet to be written that explains this in part) …. so we pour hope and love and love and hope and it will work. It honestly will.
Well, I’d certainly fall in love with those photos and if it helps any, I’m glad you made the purchase because now I get to read about it. 😉
It helps. Really it helps 🙂
What a brazen hussy the internet is! Your expression shows that the reality was very far removed from the expectation. However, it’s plain to see that the bones of something special were there once the nightmare facilities have been expunged. Looking forward to the next instalment. Also to your novel.please give more details.
I am so glad you are enjoying this. I think it was as well that there were no pictures taken the first time we stepped inside. At least we knew what we were buying – Heaven only knows why we did but something called us on. Base insanity perhaps. Thank you always for your kind words and I will make a little announcement on the book and more about it perhaps at Christmas. That should give me the necessary kick in the behind to get on and finish it …..
I can see why you did buy the place. All that history behind it and one can see that it could be made – and will be, I’m sure – into something really special. Yes, do keep us informed about the book. I need lots of kicks to keep going on my WiPs!
No-one but no one can possibly understand the pain, frustration and abject tedium on occasion of producing books unless they have done it! I was a literary agent before and in the very early days of having my first daughter …. I actually feel quite ashamed sometimes of the lack of understanding I had for screenwriters struggling with plot, characters, dialogue or worse still the dratted block!
Quite true that you have to have done it yourself to realise that writing is not the romantic occupation it’s cut out to be!
By the by, I have suggested a writer and poet called Jane Dougherty who has recently moved from Bordeaux to Lot et Garonne be in touch with you … she has a question about your publishers, I think 🙂
Egad! I don’t know I would have had the heart to continue with the mission, but I am pleased you persevered. Also, your expression looks as if you’ve just opened a pair of knitted mittens on Christmas morning. “Oh… nice….”
Thank you Rachel …. still persevering in this corner – if they’d told me I was looking at a 5-10 year plan when I had ‘move right in’ in mind I’d have pressed eject! Those Christmas mits are the ones from the bottom of the bargain basket at Ocean State. Those 😉
That picture should be captioned ‘ that moment when you don’t know why am I still here!! ‘ Hats off to you guys that you still stayed with your decision and I can’t wait to see how you managed things next.
That is indeed the right caption! I’m so glad you are enjoying the story …. much more to come!
The moment of truth.. a picture paints a thousand words! Well at least you still had a very neat little writing desk to sit at and write your masterpieces – or is it a dressing table at which you need to sit and reflect?
Read on MacDuff …. I shall have to find my own writing desk 😉 xx
Oh the meanie – did he take it! I’m loving these posts Osyth and will continue my catch up over the next few days. I can’t believe that the French law allows the vendor to delay emptying – what if you had nowhere else to live… – yikes! Ah well – all’s well that ends well and with the glow of the community spirit to warm the cockles of your heart, it’s definitely worth all your hard work and effort.. xx
It honestly will be beautiful and the silver lining to all the time it has taken – not just because of the ghastly curmudgeon that owned it previously but because of our own constraints, the silver lining is that we now have a vision which I think is what the house actually wants. Xx
You really can’t beat a great vision Osyth. May your dreams come true! I can’t wait to see photo’s of the finished result… whenever that may be. (Actually I suspect it will never quite be finished and will be an evolving masterpiece!) xx
I think that’s right …. finished is almost admitting defeat, drawing a line but with a house, it is a living thing and should continue to evolve throughout your tenure xx
Just like us Osyth – continuing to evolve whilst we ‘tenure’ our bodies! xx
I have been contemplating my chin lately. When, or when, did it become so soft and duvet like? 😂 xx
Haha Osyth – Synchronicity is definitely at play – I’ve been contemplating the same thing. It’s time to get my 60 second facelift gadget back out and dust off the cobwebs!! Or maybe just get cosy in the comfy duvet… hmmm decisions decisions… xx
I had a whole kit at once time and used it religiously. Perhaps its time to reinvest. Like grey – I’m not quite ready to embrace this yet!
No – me neither! Yep – definitely investment time! xx
You always have the best poetry references…
Thank you thank you thank you for focusing on what actually matters to me … this comment has made me extremely happy!
God, I’m so glad that you said that—I was feeling super-shallow for having been struck by that the most, and wasn’t going to say anything at all!
Au contraire… in my mind it simply underlines your deep appreciation of language, words and poetry 🙂
Your expression was pretty much mine when we bought our current house and discovered everything but everything needed replacing, including the roof, central heating, windows, rewiring, bathrooms, kitchen, none of which appeared on the survey! But the upside was, it was just around the corner from the schools. I’m a bit slow working my way through the saga, Christmas and broken body have taken over, but I will get there 💜
I have no prizes for people rattling through these, I am just delighted if people do read them. In your case, I consider you a friend and I am more concerned that you keep some sort of calm in your life, particularly at this viciously taxing time of year, as it can be. Now to the rest of your comment ….. I love surprises, really love them but since buying this house have started to ask ‘good surprise or bad surprise’ when people say they have one for me! Take good care of yourself and go softly. X
Thank you 😊 Yes, it is so intense. The one week of the year we have all the family visiting in different groupings spread over 10 days as we are in the middle geographically and this is the only way my children and grandchildren can see my elderly mum. Which means lots of different diets, tastes etc, many changes of beds and of course someone is always ill! But if I can stay strong enough to direct operations and my husband healthy enough to carry them out, we should have a lovely time and then sleep through January 😄
Now that I have reread this….she was meant to be yours….she awaits her beautification-renovation….you had to have her….no other way…it wasn’t her fault she was done tuckered out by her old owner…..xx
Exactement – she is the princess in the tower and we are the prince (in touch with his femenine side, clearly 😉