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Don’t Stop Me Now!

They played this song nine years ago and we wept an ocean.  They played it because we were saying adieu to a boy.  Sixteen years old and he had made his own decision to leave the earth.  I still feel the anguish like a razor to my heart.   Yesterday, I found this piece of driftwood which seems to me for all the world to be an elephant.  He loved elephants.  Particularly pink elephants.  He loved many things especially including my daughter.  My daughter loved many things especially including him.  She wrote yesterday that she hopes he is in a happy place.  I know he is.  I know he is smiling.  I know he is laughing.  And I know that in some intangible way he took me to this trunky trunk to gently remind that he is happy.  And that the part of him that dwells in each of us that love him will never be lost.

DSCF3904PS:  The song is Queen, of course.  Who he also loved.  Of course.  And he loved that I had worked for them when the dinosaurs were barely hatched in the garden.   I on the other hand am very cross with him for getting in first … there is nothing worse than outliving our young.

This is my response to The Daily Post prompt ‘Happy Place’ …. you can see all the other’s gloriously displayed here  And here, with a smile, is a bonus

Screenshot 2015-10-11 18.08.45

62 Comments Post a comment
  1. We found a piece of driftwood on the beach at Argeles-sur-Mer and picked it up because Trevor ( a man neither naturally imaginative nor sentimental) thought it looked like our old, lost dog Coco asleep.
    And why not? a memory of those loved is always a precious thing

    October 11, 2015
    • It is indeed – well done Trev 🙂

      October 11, 2015
  2. Beautiful, poignant, heartfelt, sad and uplifting words Osyth.
    I too share ‘his’ love of elephants and can see the soul of the elephant in the tree.
    This post put me in mind of the heartbreakingly brave final performance of the tragic talented French singer Gregory Lemarchal, when he performed ‘The show must go on’ also by Queen, literally days before his premature death from cystic fibrosis.
    Very touching and lovely photo. xx

    October 11, 2015
    • Oh, I’m glad you are a fellow Ellie lover! I would love to find some footage of this performance by Gregory Lemarchal …. that song is so evocative and I can’t begin to imagine how poignant that performance is. Thank you for your kind words. xx

      October 11, 2015
      • There was a biography about him on tv a good fe months back and it featured this performance – afterwards people close to him said that he was so ill before this performance, he only removed the oxygen immediately before emerging on stage, he looked so frail, he was so beautiful and a true voice of an Angel, his was on of the first albums that I ever bought in French, and at the time, I did not know his story, just fell in love with the song ‘Le Reve’. I found out later that all the people in the video had been given heart and lung transplants as he was waiting for….

        October 11, 2015
      • I think the you tube video of Gregory Lemarchal and Patrick Bruel singing it as a duet, is the one, he certainly looks very sick and you can see his effort to breathe xx (I am not technical enough to post it on here….)

        October 11, 2015
      • I’ll find it – thank you so much for taking the time to locate it. Enjoy your Sunday evening and keep getting better 🙂

        October 11, 2015
      • I’ve just found it …. wow! That is a stunning duet and so so moving. thank you so much for pointing me to it. I confess I did not know Gregory – I will be seeking out more. What a voice and I can confidently say that had Freddie lived, he’d have been on his feet!

        October 11, 2015
      • he actually won the first or second series of the French X factor, but kept his condition a secret, he founded a research foundation and support charity that has done wonderful work. The video Le reve – is equally moving once you know the story – and this shows his voice to his full potential as he was in good health when it was recorded – such a beautiful boy. I have three of his albums.

        October 11, 2015
      • I will be buying his albums for sure … as you say such a beautiful boy – I’m actually hugely touched that my post made you think of him. And so glad you pointed me to him 🙂

        October 11, 2015
      • I can’t begin to imagine, how it must feel to lose someone so young and you were very brave to put up this post, but so glad that you did xx

        October 11, 2015
      • In the words of a Norf London friend of mine ‘it’s every shade of wrong’ but slowly slowly we find the positives and it certainly teaches you to appreciate what you have. Thank you for bolstering my decision to post this. I really appreciate the support 🙂

        October 11, 2015
      • It kicks things into touch when you read things like this – so many courageous women on here – courage (and Monsieur le frog pointed out that it is ‘mon’ brave’ ou ma ‘pauvre’ ) drawback of sleeping with the enemy! Much love. Lindy

        October 11, 2015
      • My husband isn’t even French and insists on correcting my grammar … my daughter would say that mon brave/ma pauvre is a result of the latent chauvenism in French!!

        October 11, 2015
      • Ah elle aurait raison, c’est evident partout…….

        October 11, 2015
      • 😀

        October 11, 2015
  3. Oh my, this is beautiful and sad!! I love the drift wood and the memories and your thoughts!! So amazing!

    October 11, 2015
    • Ah Lunz – yes it is driftwood – silly me called dit a tree – obviously still not firing on all cylinders…….

      October 11, 2015
      • I didn’t see that! I hope you are well!!!

        October 11, 2015
    • I thought twice about posting it Lynz … but it felt like the right time. His death was the catalyst for my worst years. I know he is happy that those years have peeled away and left a sweet centre behind them.

      October 11, 2015
  4. That’s a sad story, I’m sorry…

    October 11, 2015
    • It was, is tragic …. but the scars he gave to us are part of who we are now. That’s how life goes, in part.

      October 11, 2015
  5. How sad. So young to give up on life. 🙁 That must have been beyond traumatic for your daughter. I hope she is able to look back now and remember him at his best.

    Gregory Lemarchal singing ‘SOS d’un Terrien en Detresse’ is very poignant.

    https://youtu.be/GGb0Sb5lvu4

    October 11, 2015
    • It was the darkest time of my life – I am inordinately proud of my daughter (also 16 at the time) for climbing her mountain. She breathes fresh air now and each year that passes, each anniversary of birth and death she is stronger. I know he is proud of her. He was my unofficial foster son – very fragile, very beautiful, very damaged. I have been listening to Gregory Lemarchal as I write this … thank you – you and Lindaravello have given me something quite wonderful to take from this post. Another life cut so short – such a brave and beautiful soul.

      October 11, 2015
  6. You must be so proud of your daughter….able to build a ladder of hope from despair.

    October 11, 2015
    • I am, Helen 🙂

      October 12, 2015
  7. I see a happy elephant too…I am sure he is sending you messages not to be sad and he is happy where he as found his peace…..great post…my heart goes out to you…..hugs kat

    October 12, 2015
    • Thank you Kat … That means a lot 🙂

      October 12, 2015
  8. Lovely picture! So sorry for your loss.

    October 12, 2015
    • I’m glad you like the picture … Thank you for your kindness 🙂

      October 12, 2015
  9. How very sad.
    I am so lucky to have been spared much in the way of death in my time.
    Poor boy to do something so drastic.
    To be honest though, I see a rodeo rider when I look at the driftwood….

    October 12, 2015
    • Interesting …. I’ll look again and see if I can see that cowboy there (brings to mind one of my favourite Kirsty McColl songs ‘Don’t come the cowboy with me, sonny Jim’

      Death is part of life. I honestly believe that the best way to honour and respect our departed (however, whenever) is to do our best to appreciate what we have. I can also honestly say that it took me a long time to achieve that after he died. Hugs to you 🙂

      October 12, 2015
  10. impressive and emotional… <3

    October 12, 2015
    • Lovely M – it shaped who I am now 🙂

      October 12, 2015
  11. So sad but full of love, hope and remembrance; my thoughts are with you and your daughter at this moment.

    October 14, 2015
    • Thank you Andrew 🙂

      October 14, 2015
  12. So much has already been said that I’ll just say I agree with Andrew. I think one of every parent’s nightmares is having a child die, in any way, before the parent has gone on before. Thanks for sharing such a difficult subject.

    janet

    October 14, 2015
    • Thank you Janet. It felt right and I appreciate your kindness very much 🙂

      October 14, 2015
  13. What a beautiful, poignant post. Funny how inanimate objects sometimes manage to personify the love we have for people who are no longer with us. It hit home here because I am still trying to get my head around the death of a little lad we all cared a lot about a few weeks ago. Surviving a youngster is one of the hardest experiences out. It shouldn’t happen. I love this song, and never have imagined it could be used for such a sad occasion, yet it is so appropriate.

    October 15, 2015
    • I’m so sorry to hear that … it is, as a friend of mine always says, ‘every shade of wrong’ surviving a youngster no matter what the circumstances of their particular death. My thoughts are with you all as you go through the process of trying to make sense of something senseless. Time heals and the scars left behind shape the person we become – and hopefully make us better and that in its turn makes it marginally less pointless.

      October 15, 2015
      • Thanks, Osyth. It has hit us hard, because he was a close friend of our children, and his parents are close friends of ours.
        You are right – and I am a great believer that something good can always come from every bad experience if we are open enough to let it happen. In this case, it resulted in a desperate will to say ‘yes’ – to everyone. I’ll be blogging about it shortly – it has been a revealing experience.

        October 15, 2015
      • To say I’ll look forward to that sounds peculiar and crass, but I will. Warm hugs x

        October 15, 2015
      • It doesn’t at all! Warm hugs right back atcha, girl x

        October 15, 2015
  14. What a wonderful tribute, and glad you can put this post in a happy place.

    October 17, 2015
    • Thank you so much J.B …. it felt very appropriate so I am glad it has been well received. Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to comment 🙂

      October 17, 2015
  15. Very well written – agree so much.

    Queen are wonderful music… :-9

    October 17, 2015
    • I worked for Queen for a while in the early 80s – was their Personal Assistant as it’s now called – Secretary back then in the mists of time. I’ll have em played when my time comes – thanks for stopping by 🙂

      October 17, 2015
  16. What a lovely post, Osyth. I’m so sorry for your loss but happy that you are now coming out the other side. I’ve heard it said of mourning that the pain never goes away, it just slowly becomes less frequent. That driftwood is beautiful too. J.

    November 12, 2015
    • Thank you , June. Really, thank you. I will tuck that comment on mourning away not just for me but for anyone who finds themselves in the morass that is grief.

      November 12, 2015
  17. I am SO sorry it took so long to respond to you. THANK YOU for stopping by my blog. I am sorry you also have experienced the heart-wrenching ache of losing a child. Sweet 16 – and yet, it’s an age that cuts into my heart now, when I hear of someone turning 16, especially my son’s younger siblings as they have reached that age – and then passed it. It’s almost 11 years our son is gone – and it still stings, but there IS more joy and more HOPE as we get closer to a heavenly reunion. May you find peace as more days are behind you. Write again sometime.

    November 17, 2015
    • Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. Your gentle reminder that we are daily a step closer to being reunited is succour indeed. Peace be with you and yours

      November 17, 2015
  18. A touching post. I can’t think of anything more tragic than the loss of a promising young life.

    December 7, 2015
    • It is every shade of wrong. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I notice that you have followed my blog which I am delighted and humbled by. I will find the time later today to explore yours and I suspect I will find someone that I care to follow back 🙂

      December 7, 2015
  19. Pan #

    💛

    June 12, 2016
    • Thank you Pan – I appreciate that very much 🙂

      June 12, 2016
  20. Strong words… strong emotion! Yes… it’s not right that we outlive our young!
    Maybe we should teach love more lovingly… in that way our young may want to live – and love – longer!

    (Worked for Freddy and Co?? WoW!!!!!!!!!!)

    October 23, 2016
  21. Oh God … How desperately sad. I am so sorry for him, you, your daughter … Grief from death is the hardest to live with. I hope that as time is passing the huge and incessant waves of pain are lessening and becoming a little calmer. I am sending you huge hugs and a kiss to you both my friend. X

    July 21, 2018
    • Thank you Katie. From one fragile heart to another, thank you. We are all fragile – some are given cards that they can’t bear. And they leave us with something that we will never really bear but which we learn to co-exist with. I know that my daughter would want me to send you her biggest hugs and love back. As do I. Go gently, sweet friend. X

      July 21, 2018

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