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… with great love

The world feels particularly alarmed at the moment.  The U.S are afeared at what their election will bring given that one candidate is a proven loose cannon  and the other a proven liar.  Last week a woman who I knew for a short while as a colleague was savagely and barbarically shot, kicked and stabbed to death whilst going about her work as a Member of the British Parliament, serving constituents who had elected her for her talent and energy and goodness and days before that a twisted maniac massacred 49 innocents just being themselves in a Gay nightclub in Orlando.  Today my country of birth opted by a slender margin to exit the European Union and exercise it’s right to navigate the world in splendid isolation.   All of these things are quite shocking to digest.  I need not and will not comment – my opinions are of no interest to those taking the time to read my words but I do have something that I hope might strike a different and more harmonious chord.

I am currently in France having been whisked here by a circuitous route to delay my guessing the destination by HB² (my husband) so that we could spend our wedding anniversary in the place we were married three years ago.  Today I am sitting at my table in the place I call home.  My world is rosy.  I am fortunate.  This week along with the delightful, other things have happened in my personal life that could certainly anger me, engender hatred and lead me to feel that the best thing is to curl up in my cave and live my life as a strange old hermit (complete with splendid false beard).  But being the cussed optimist that I work at being, I know that I am better placed and better off endeavouring to find value in the way things are trying to effect other lives as decently as I can.  Last week, the extremely lovely  @Turtleway whose beauteous blog you will find here graced me by beginning to read every post I have ever written.  This is either brave or foolhardy but in any case  remarkably flattering.  She asked me in response to a post I wrote about Oradour sur Glâne in France, which was the object of a genocide in the dying days of WWII how we can avoid hating when we come across atrocities.  Which we do almost daily with modern news transfer being as rapid as it is and Social Media rampantly passing on the attrocious and the marvellous in an entirely unfiltered manner.  I thought for some days before I replied and then I said this:

The first thing I must say is that I understand hatred. But it was my youngest daughter, then aged about 10 years old who asked me to stop using the word ‘hate’ because, she said,  we should never actually hate anyone or anything.  By definition it is a cankerous emotion. She is now 21 and her views have inevitably become a little less pure but she remains true to the essence of what she said. For my part, I feel that hating and being angry are well and good but that they don’t resolve anything, they do not bring back the dead, they do not comfort the bereaved and they do not heal the wounded. In fact they probably feed the perpetrators. And I refuse to grace wicked, evil people with anything that might make them feel anything other than the odious bile that they have become. So I try instead to count my own good fortune and to understand what I can do to help. I am a highly emotional person by nature and tend to ricochet between highs and lows without warning. My own balance is maintained by seeking out the good in every situation and by attempting to not fuel the fire with a whirlwind of anger but rather to damp it with the dew of decency. Different people use different mechanisms. I must stress that I am not perfect. I feel anger and rage and bitterness and fury and sometimes I let those feelings begin to tarnish my insides. But I try to remain mindful and conscious and to take a beat and if necessary many many beats whilst I get to a mechanism that can quash the negatives and allow the positive energy to release so that I can be of some use. This is not forgiveness, this is not excusing this is simply trying not to become dissolved by fury and outrage but rather to evolve by maintaining a stance of dignity and warmth of spirit.

The world we live in is full of hatred.  Today Social Media is positively crackling with rancor and bitterness or exultation and self-congratulation depending on which side you take at the result of the self-proclaimed ‘Brexit’ vote.  It turns into yet another reason for people to sling mud.  I choose not to.  I urge others to join me.  I hope one day you will.  And to paraphrase John Lennon, the greatest of pacifists, the most gifted of men diabolically slain so many years ago by a twisted soul maybe, just maybe one day the world will live as one.

Here are two little beetles simply working together, spreading their beetle love and working as partners to further beetlekind.  This ties in nicely to the photo challenge this week of which  here you can find lots and lots of far more admirable examples  And yes, using a picture of beetles when referencing a Beatle is entirely deliberate.

DSCF7392

PS:  The quote comes from Mother Teresa of Calcutta – ‘None of us, including me, ever do great things. But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful.’

140 Comments Post a comment
  1. What a beautiful quote. Have a great wedding g anniversary!

    Liked by 1 person

    June 24, 2016
    • Thank you so much …. we leave again tomorrow but it has been absolutely lovely – I’ve been longing to use that quote …. she really nailed it that tiny bundle of goodness!

      Liked by 1 person

      June 24, 2016
  2. Beautifully well put O. Whichever option we preferred there is nothing more to do now than stop speculating, panicking and knuckle down to healing the divisions within not only the UK but Europe and worldwide. Tall order I know but crucial to the future of the younger generation and we can all still play a part no matter how small.
    Happy wedding anniversary and thanks for a most thoughtful post.

    Liked by 1 person

    June 24, 2016
    • Glad you enjoyed it and thank you . You nail it in your comment …. here’s to petits pas!!

      Like

      June 24, 2016
  3. I too have been thinking about the good in my life amongst all the flotam and getsum that is currently being spewed on social media in the name of someone’s opinon. You have put the focus back where it belongs beautifully. Thank you.

    Liked by 2 people

    June 24, 2016
    • Thank you so much for that …. I’m glad I hit the right note – we all need to turn off the noise a little or a lottle I think 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      June 24, 2016
  4. I love the quote by Mother Teresa, too. Have a love-filled anniversary in your joyful abode. I struggle with my emotions too and your daughter is quite right – none of us should use the word hate. How does it help anything to hate it? The majority of people are good but we are the most successful predator on earth for a reason and many of us are incapable of rising above our base emotions. Retreat to your love nest and beetle love fest. Hugs K xx

    Liked by 2 people

    June 24, 2016
    • Kerry you are absolutely one of the lovliest of life’s lovelies! Thankyou for understanding me so well xx

      Liked by 1 person

      June 24, 2016
      • You know, I thought perhaps I hadn’t hit the right note with my comment and was worried. You must be distraught about Britain divorcing itself from the EU and not for the right reasons. On the other hand, you are a survivor with your lovely husband in a wonderful place. Turn social media off, relax and Teddy and I will toast you with cheap wine tonight (still on a budget). Hugs K x

        Liked by 2 people

        June 24, 2016
      • I can here the clink clink from here! As for Britain …. I don’t feel British and this is possibly why! You did not hit the wrong not AT ALL. Long may you ride, my lovely friend 🙂 xx

        Liked by 1 person

        June 24, 2016
      • To you both!

        Liked by 1 person

        June 24, 2016
      • 😀 xx

        Like

        June 24, 2016
  5. Birstall is where I was brought up. I’m still reeling from the shock of seeing places that belong to childhood memories full of blood, policemen and TV cameras. Hope your anniversary went swimmingly.

    Liked by 1 person

    June 24, 2016
    • Shocking it was even without any connection. I’m sorry your memories were so tarnished by such an atrocity.

      Like

      June 24, 2016
      • It wasn’t all rosy. They didn’t like the Micks in the days of my childhood when the Indians and Pakistanis were just an exotic sideshow. But childhood is childhood, and that’s where the fond memories are.

        Liked by 1 person

        June 24, 2016
      • I’m not sure what a rosy childhood is but childhood memories should not be bloodied 🙂

        Like

        June 24, 2016
      • No, they shouldn’t. But that poor woman’s life is worth more than a few memories if an exchange was ever possible.

        Liked by 1 person

        June 24, 2016
      • Tragically true. And her two littlies now grow up with the dark shadow of their mummy’s death over them however well those that are left help them cope

        Like

        June 24, 2016
      • And the knowledge that what that sad murdering creep stands for has been voted for by a majority of Brits is even more tragic.

        Liked by 1 person

        June 25, 2016
      • Not Scotland, not Northern Ireland and if we even faintly analyze almost half of the whole turnout don’t seem to be of that flavour. That any are is appalling of course but I would not want to tar innocents with such a brish

        Like

        June 25, 2016
      • Or even a brush. Problem with a referendum is that it’s the ultimate ‘democratic’ vote. The people speak, so they tell us, and it’s a straightforward count of hands. In fact, 30% of voters in this case couldn’t be bothered, and of the ones who did, almost half voted the other way so you end up with ‘the people’ the ‘majority’ being only about 35% of the voters. One very good reason not to ever rely on a referendum to sort anything out definitively.

        Liked by 1 person

        June 25, 2016
      • Exactly. Foolhardy. And now a pot mess. I’ve just arrived in Scotland (part two of my surprise anniv trip) …. Should be an interesting few days 😉

        Like

        June 26, 2016
      • You might be well advised to whisper while you’re there. The Scots I know are seething. Mind you, so is my entire family and they live mainly in the north of England.

        Liked by 1 person

        June 26, 2016
      • My given name is Fiona Kennedy …. It helps 😉

        Like

        June 26, 2016
      • You must be from the west or the isles then if you belong to one of Irish clans 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        June 26, 2016
      • Ayrshire …. Culzean is our seat. But we mostly crossed the water after the 45 so I have many rellys in Ulster. I lived in West Cork for a few years but that was disconnected 🙂

        Like

        June 26, 2016
      • There was a lot of toing and froing for some Scots/Irish. Goes back to the very beginning. Fingers crossed some good comes out of all this.

        Liked by 1 person

        June 26, 2016
  6. I applaud your positivity and optimism; struggling with both those right now.
    Tomorrow I may well feel less apprehensive. Who knows? I don’t.

    Liked by 1 person

    June 24, 2016
    • Hugs to you – I know it’s not easy just now.

      Like

      June 24, 2016
  7. wonderfully succinct …. thank you

    Liked by 1 person

    June 24, 2016
    • Thank you @everydayhousewife …. your comment is very much appreciated 🙂

      Like

      June 24, 2016
  8. Have a lovely wedding anniversary, despite everything else that is going on in the world. I have refrained from commenting anywhere on social media about current events because I don’t feel my personal opinions will add anything to the fraught and bitter conflicts. Remaining positive and trying to add one’s own little stone to the edifice is the only way forward, in my view.

    Liked by 3 people

    June 24, 2016
    • Thank you – it’s good to be home to celebrate! As for the world and social media …. I wholeheartedly applaud your attitude. Sometimes keeping one’s own council is the correct approach and I am certain that is the case today.

      Liked by 1 person

      June 24, 2016
  9. Happy Loving Anniversary to you and your husband. I am so glad you are in France. It must be like a beautiful “oasis” and “breath of fresh, clean air” full of special moments.
    Just do what we can, one moment or deed to help make this world a better place.
    I love how Mother Teresa of Calcutta really made a difference and I admire her life’s worth of gentle gifts to those who were often left out, lonely, impoverished and hungry. I am sure her touch and warm eyes were like miracles upon those souls. ❤

    Like

    June 24, 2016
    • What a beautiful image of the effect Mother Teresa had on those poor battered souls …. Perfectly expressed and THANK YOU for your own sweetness, kindness and constancy in what you write and capture and in your goodness toward me. You are a very special person indeed x

      Liked by 1 person

      June 25, 2016
      • Fiona, your current response on my blog made me want to come here and stretch my arms out to hug you. I didn’t wish to get you sad but do want to know about any health updates. ❤
        I feel your warm friendship and appreciate it, along with your kind words.

        No need to apologize for historic events. America made so many of their own cruel and wrong decisions. I would never blame England! Just mentioned tyranny since our world 240 years later; still has horrendous crimes, as well as tyrannical rulers.

        Liked by 1 person

        July 4, 2016
      • I’m doing fine and I hope that will be finally declared as finally fine next Spring. Thank you so much for your kindness and concern. I send you the warmest hugs and I do hope we will meet before the year is out xx

        Like

        July 4, 2016
  10. Osyth, you are one special person, I like you very much. I totally enjoyed these words of yours, they resonated with me and spoke to me. You my friend are special and someone I can truly trust, and learn from. Happy anniversary and may your days be filled with happiness! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    June 24, 2016
    • That means the world to me …. Thank you for your kindness, your friendship and above all for being very special you 🙂 May even your heaviest days have lightness and laughter in them, may all your clouds have silver linings and above all may your life be filled with love 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      June 25, 2016
  11. Wishing you a very happy 3rd anniversary 🙂
    Turtle Hugs
    (I’m not making much sense today , will hopefully comment more tomorrow 😉 )

    Liked by 1 person

    June 25, 2016
    • Dear Turtle …. I NEVER make much sense! Thank you for taking the time and making the effort …. That means much to me 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      June 25, 2016
      • Ten days later I’m still not making any sense at all 😦
        I know what I want to comment on this very important post of yours , but I simply cannot put it into proper words .
        Just to let you know that I have not forgotten you 🙂
        Happy Fourth of July

        Liked by 1 person

        July 4, 2016
      • Sometimes the words don’t come easily. I understand and I want you to keep feeling you should …. Your value never diminishes to those that care 🙂 hugs from the madhouse x

        Liked by 1 person

        July 4, 2016
      • Thank you 🙂 dear Osyth
        Well , something I needed to hear right now (value 😉 )
        Turtle Hugs

        Liked by 1 person

        July 4, 2016
  12. What a wonderful idea of your husband for your wedding anniversary….wishing you many more to come.
    Hate? I’m a good hater but see no sense in mouthing off. Better to concentrate on shoving a few baguettes in their roues – and from what i remember of some French village bakery baguettes they’d be tough enough to stop any wheel from moving…

    Liked by 2 people

    June 25, 2016
    • Thank you Helen ….. He’s a darling on the quiet! I could certainly name a few bakers who would provide the gear for sabotage either in the wheels or up the exhaust 😉

      Like

      June 25, 2016
  13. We need your post now more than ever. Thanks for expressing a sentiment that we all need to remember.

    Liked by 2 people

    June 25, 2016
    • Thank you. I’m glad it hit the right note at the right time – a time when the world seems hard to fathom

      Liked by 2 people

      June 25, 2016
      • ‘My Take’ on the assassination and of Jo Cox is, our world just lost another human being characterized by and defined as an individual with a healthly view on human justice, decency, compassion and ‘humanity’. I have no doubt that Jo Cox’s touch changed, warmed and enlightened countless hearts.

        I am saddened by the loss and extremely angry. I will stand toe to toe w/anyone in the U.S. if I hear within earshot that they believe Jo Cox was just a casualty of politics.

        Love can be an invaluable emotion when used as the reason behind seeking unanswered questions for “others” to ensure a decision was or was not compromised.

        To know me is to know this is how I would respond. Always with the due respect, but without the rose colored glasses for this moment.

        Liked by 1 person

        June 25, 2016
      • I know you enough to know that you feel very very deeply and anger and rage are natural responses to senseless violence. I don’t wear rose tints but I do try to channel my own rage into a peaceful but never naive example. Jo was not a casualty of politics any more than the referendum on Thursday was political. It was made so and the storm of negative emotions and lack of humanity that had been provoked by self-serving politicians is, in my view unforgivable

        Liked by 3 people

        June 26, 2016
      • Absolutely, it is unforgivable. A blind eye has been turned too many times for this to have become an unforgivable action and condition. If collateral damage can be controlled, these selfserving acts will turn around and bite them in the ass.
        Still believing that there is a place and time for re-action and maintaining a manageable temperament has taken its toll on me. I also believe that there are times when it is vital to ‘sit on your hands’ and feel the emotion intended. Without that emotion, the tragedy will never be remembered for what it really was.
        If you Fiona were not a down to earth human with ‘Extra Ordinary Powers’, I would not be hanging out in your site. 😊

        Liked by 2 people

        June 26, 2016
      • Notwithstanding your kind remark about me, I agree with every word you say.

        Liked by 1 person

        June 26, 2016
      • Any compliment I might give should never be considered ‘in lieu of’. You may have to search a little deeper for the meaning, but it is always to be admired.
        This specific period in time, in history, will make for one ‘hell of a chapter’ in your forthcoming book.

        Liked by 1 person

        June 27, 2016
      • You are not kidding and when you transpose the issues we have had personally onto the outrageous, battered and torn fabric that is held together by the slenderest threads that is supposing to be our world I feel nauseous and faintly shell-shocked

        Liked by 1 person

        June 27, 2016
      • Your surrounding support appears to be solid. They will hold you up and refill the top half of your glass when needed. This will allow you the time to prepare for the next round. ⏳

        Liked by 1 person

        June 27, 2016
      • I am fortunate …. I try not to lose sight of that fact and to give back to those that need me to step up and help put anything at all into their meagre glass. It’s all I can do

        Liked by 1 person

        June 27, 2016
      • And you do. You’ll never know the quantity of lives you’ve reached with just one touch. All done without the prompting of unknown floral, because you have choosen to act on the goodness of nature we all possess. Some hide it and then some keep pushing down, but you can’t kill it.
        Enjoy the day –

        Liked by 1 person

        June 30, 2016
      • Because I care about the world you call home, I won or lost an argument with myself to write down a couple of thoughts as a last comment in this post, appropriate or not.
        The seed of any angered word towards acts of ‘no reason’ for me is heartbreak. My empathy level has risen to an unbearable high. I fuel the pain, not from any desire to increase the pain, but from not being able to settle with questionable conclusions. There are answers to my questions.Too many people have died and they did not die in vein. This pain will kill me, that is a given.There are times when I welcome the thought of not feeling anymore. For me to be productive is not to be calming, it’s to cause discomfort with questions coupled by persistence. I’m not sure if I’ll be visiting sites for a minute, so I grabbed this quote in a comment on writer’s block from a connected site for you. “The mind of a writer can be a truly terrifying thing. Isolated, neurotic, caffeine-addled, crippled by procrastination, consumed by feelings of panic, self-loathing, and soul-crushing inadequacy. And that’s on a good day.” Robert DeNiro (2015 Academy Awards).

        Take great care…

        Liked by 2 people

        July 1, 2016
      • That quote says it. Take great care yourself ….. I liken the feelings of the sensitive to Leeloo in the Fifth Element …. Sometimes I literally feel the sadness, angst, hunger, persecution, wounds, open sores and searing grief of the world literally in my solar plexus and can barely move as I am absorbed into the intensity. I understand. I do. But hang in their. Don’t you die on me. You have special gifts and the world needs you as, selfishly, do I X

        Like

        July 1, 2016
      • I’m not familiar with the Leeloo character, but the story line is. If and when time and want join, would you summarize the sensitive of Leeloo? I don’t have the patience for Master Google right now. If not, it’s all good.

        Liked by 1 person

        July 1, 2016
      • I’m waiting for my flight to Boston – So if you can wait til tomorrow it would be my pleasure. I’m not much of a fan of sci fi generally but that story touched me BECAUSE of her 🙂

        Like

        July 1, 2016
      • The character of Leeloo is one of the supreme beings of the universe, sent to earth in the bodily form of a quirky seemingly naive and out-of-water young woman to save the planet form the evil forces that are quite literally about to destroy it. She is the missing ‘fifth element’ needed to unleash the power of good which will assail the evil. Humanity is searching in vain for this missing key having found successfully the puzzle and understood how to activate the four elements of fire, water, earth and wind. But without this fifth there will be doom and destruction. When she is preparing to be ready to take her place in the puzzle, she sees all the evils and sorrows of the world, all the bad things that have happened that you can imagine, that you know – wars, famines, disasters both man made and natural, assassinations of the good people, dictators poised to take over the world and she literally channels it all and absorbs it and feels it. This is war: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGYT5JNh03A
        You will understand that notion of channelling the dreadful things that are surrounding us and literally feeling the horror as though it is a part of you.

        Like

        July 2, 2016
      • Thank you –

        Liked by 1 person

        July 1, 2016
      • De rien mon ami

        Liked by 1 person

        July 1, 2016
      • Thank you for the research and the You-Tube clip. Emotionally it was difficult to watch, but when I by-pass the feeling, it proves… to be thought of, to be written about and to be delivered with such accuracy, many other people feel (literally ‘feel’) the same way.

        Why does that ‘grouping’ (not politically correct) of people place the responsibility of amending wrongs on the shoulders of a few in this world? It not only makes the changes needed difficult to apply, it creates a single target, a human target to be eliminated.
        What is mindful and fair about that?

        When I ask these questions, it’s not to place blame or cause. That’s a waste of discovery time. We are already hard enough on ourselves, aren’t we?

        Fiona, I can be happy, sad, grieving, elated, joyful or suicidal and will still have to ask these questions. Thank you for allowing my ‘Odd Duck’ thoughts into your world.

        “It’s not easy being green.” 🐸
        Fiona, I know that you have experienced and lived this quote. I LOVE THAT FROG!

        Like

        July 2, 2016
      • One more question… What would be the reason for always feeling the fear, the horror of the attack? Is it to help or to prepare. I know you don’t have an answer. There is no answer. It just is. Right!

        Liked by 1 person

        July 3, 2016
      • If we are allowed to be, we are a pretty phenomenal instrument, we human beings. So many mysteries we contain in these vessels we function as 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        July 3, 2016
  14. Happy anniversary Osyth. Treasure them, remember them with love, and gather all the good and warm things to your heart. Perhaps someday we will learn as a world, but today we must learn as individuals and show by example – and yours is rather fine.

    Liked by 2 people

    June 25, 2016
    • Knowing a little of your life, I am hugely touched by your comment Claudette. I promise I will and I will and I will. Thank you

      Liked by 1 person

      June 26, 2016
      • Ah, you are such a nice person, I could only ever wish the best for you and yours.

        Liked by 1 person

        June 27, 2016
      • Hugs 🙂

        Like

        June 27, 2016
  15. I trust you had a good anniversay

    Liked by 1 person

    June 25, 2016
    • Thank you, it was lovely and my mystery tour had now swept me to Scotland. Just wonderful ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

      June 26, 2016
  16. Sorry I’m late to the party. I hope your anniversary went well, and you have a lifetime full of many more!

    Liked by 1 person

    June 26, 2016
    • Thank you, my friend … We did and I hope we will – your kind heart is always appreciated chez nous

      Liked by 1 person

      June 26, 2016
  17. I am happy you found your happiness….sometimes I just want to close the doors, never watch the news and only use newspapers for mulching my garden….in otherwords….my head in the sand kind of idea…I can’t even put the sadness into words that my heart holds for mankind….the BS is global….and getting deeper daily…..I will come visit you in your cave and bring sharp scissors to trim the beard for you anytime…along with a good bottle of wine…LOL hope your well my friend…and I am pretty sure the is nothing Mother Theresa said that I didn’t like, but that is one of her better quotes for sure…..happy day to you…..xxkat

    Liked by 1 person

    June 27, 2016
  18. Dear Fiona a lovely post! The quote is so very true, small things count allot. Sometimes we think only the big things help. I hope all is well and happy Anniversary! xxx

    Liked by 2 people

    June 28, 2016
    • Thank you dear Lynn …. I think of you as an exemplar of the theory 🙂 xxx

      Liked by 2 people

      June 29, 2016
      • Your so kind dearest Fiona! We need to catch up when your back over this way xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

        June 29, 2016
      • I get back Friday night so let’s plan to catch up after the holiday on Monday which I’m very excited for – my first July 4th!!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

        Liked by 3 people

        June 29, 2016
      • ok sounds great x

        Liked by 1 person

        June 29, 2016
  19. Pan #

    I’m not getting notifications anymore when you post but don’t know why.. grrrr..
    Anyhow, I’m glad I popped over to see if you’ve posted lately, this is an excellent post that I believe articulates what so many people are feeling in these last few weeks.. Just crammed with tragedy, shock and uncertainty.. We can’t control the madness in the world but we can control how it affects us.. I’m so glad Two Brains is such a romantic to whisk you away for such an incredible anniversary ! A beautiful example of your post and of the life you two are building together each day.. 💛

    Liked by 3 people

    June 28, 2016
    • That happens to me sometimes particularly when I follow a new cluster of blogs … I think the Reader gets brain overload with which I can sympathise! I’m so glad you enjoyed the post – when writing from a free falling pure emotion standpoint it can be difficult to be objective – you are amongst my most trusted so thank you for steadying my nerves 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      June 29, 2016
      • Pan #

        Raw emotion is the antithesis of objectivity but with your natural talent for writing, even the hardest hitting posts, are sane, poetic and reels the reader in to live in your moment.. That’s power, and I’m glad you wield that power with hope and compassion 💛
        Btw, I found the notification email for this post, I swear it wasn’t there til last night but it’s backdated.. 😞

        Liked by 1 person

        June 30, 2016
      • Perhaps they are trying to gag my goodwill 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        June 30, 2016
      • Pan #

        Probably 😁

        Liked by 1 person

        July 13, 2016
      • For objectivity to be received and acknowledged, it has to be delivered with honesty and an empathic heart & mind.
        Rarely do we know an absolute truth or an unbiased truth. That’s the honesty. Empathy allows you walk in another man’s shoes which lessens judgement and opens possibilities. All of this input gives birth to objectivity.
        Humans and creatures capable of empathy know it to be one of the rawest emotions experienced.
        I don’t see raw emotions at the polar end of objectivity. Without that one piece of the puzzle, the pictures never complete.
        One aspect of this site that draws me in is Fiona’s willingness to feel and be objective. Also, to honestly admit it when objectivity has flown out the window.

        Liked by 1 person

        July 13, 2016
      • Without honesty I am sunk however hard the truth may sometimes be to swallow. I prefer candour to concealment.

        Like

        July 14, 2016
  20. Beautifully lyrical. Happy anniversary!

    Liked by 2 people

    June 30, 2016
    • Thank you so much – your kind words always fill me with a warm glow 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      June 30, 2016
  21. Arby #

    Love the words of course, and love the photo.

    Liked by 1 person

    June 30, 2016
    • Thank you Arby – you are always appreciated … stay with me on this journey 🙂

      Like

      June 30, 2016
  22. Jenny Adams #

    So glad you met Ray! What a wonderful surprise to spend your anniversary at home! We are certainly living in turbulent times and need to cherish our quiet corners of love and peace. I think,of you both often. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    June 30, 2016
    • That’s exactly it – cherish the good and you two are often in our thoughts too 🙂 xx

      Like

      June 30, 2016
  23. A memorable post Osyth; thank you. I think you know how I feel but you have centred my thoughts, which have been focused perhaps too much on the negative, and brought me back to recognizing the power of quiet optimism in the face of adversity. Warmest wishes once again on your anniversary 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    June 30, 2016
    • I have a pretty canny idea of what you feel, Andrew in the same way as you will never be surprised when I reveal my hand. I’m gratified that my meager words helped re-centre you. The craziness playing out around us knocks that gyroscope off-kilter with an insistence that is hard to resist but we owe it to humanity to try to harness quiet optimism, to keep our decency and to help where we can …. That I am wholly preaching to the converted in you is something I know well. I am proud to know you. Very very proud.

      Liked by 1 person

      July 1, 2016
      • Thanks Osyth. Your lovely complement as you know is returned with the same sentiment to you 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        July 2, 2016
  24. I felt bittersweet reading this – it’s been a silly week full of French-strations (see, I even made up a word for it!)….and of course, feeling angst from all the outrage in the world these past weeks and months. That lovely lady’s tragic death came at a time of so much turbulence over Brexit, it caused barely a ripple in the news. You are right about not polluting our lives with the hate response – although it’s a challenge, for me as well. On the sweet side, so glad to hear about hubby’s surprise trip and to imagine the joy it brought you both to be back home for a few days watching the bugs go about the garden. Joyeux anniversaire de mariage! P.S. My mother’s maiden name was Kennedy and her father was from Ireland, so who knows? Maybe we are related! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    July 1, 2016
    • Frenchstrations duly added to personal dictionary. As you ever do, you have gone straight to the most important point …. The pointless brutal death of a decent young woman swept aside in the tidal wave of hysteria surrounding the vote and the cold new dawn. That the Machiavellian plot now plays out the downfall of the golden boy at the hands of his best friend and that both of the political parties seem to be turning to dust before the eyes of their electorate whose needs are now largely being ignored makes the whole thing even sadder. But you are of Kennedy lineage. Well we must be related somewhere – I demand it because you are someone I really relate to!!

      Liked by 2 people

      July 1, 2016
  25. First things first – A very Happy (belated) Anniversary to you both and wishing you a marvelous Fourth Year with many more to follow. Such romance in returning to where you took your vows to continue through life working (oops! spell check changed this to “twerking!) together, like those little beetles.I’m truly glad you have not decided to react to the daily indignities that seem to become overwhelming by heading to a hermit cave. Not a good idea! We need to stay out here, with that attitude you describe so well, and make a difference. Enjoy your respite in France. Maybe things will be different here in the US when you return and we will be on the road to becoming a civilized nation in the future? I can hope. Clare

    Liked by 1 person

    July 1, 2016
    • I always appreciate your comments …. thoughtful, wise and heartfelt with a goodly dollop of understanding the true nature of love. I also love the image of hubby and I twerking …. it is one I will treasure though not attempt to enact!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      July 2, 2016
  26. are you home??? Wanna skype??

    Liked by 1 person

    July 1, 2016
    • I got in around midnight last night Eastern time … plane was horribly delayed out of Heathrow. I’ll be back to something like normal soon enough and we can skype when we are both online 🙂

      Like

      July 2, 2016
  27. My friend, it is a lot to take in, everything that goes on around us. I can relate to your feelings. The only remedy that works for me is to get charged by the healing energy that mother nature so gracefully shares to all that choose to connect to her. That is the only thing that works for me.

    Happy Anniversary!

    Liked by 2 people

    July 3, 2016
  28. Very well written!

    Liked by 1 person

    July 4, 2016
  29. munchkinontheroad #

    Reblogged this on On the Road Cooking and commented:
    Very eloquently stated, Osyth❣

    Liked by 1 person

    July 7, 2016
    • Thank you so much – I’m glad you enjoyed it and flattered that you feel it worthy of space on your own blog 🙂

      Like

      July 7, 2016
  30. Beautiful Osyth – I finally got around to reading this!!!
    I’m afraid though, the hatred, bigotry, prejudice, narrow mindedness and shortsightedness has escalated after the disastrous result (for us anyway) And Britain is no longer a place where I feel comfortable. It has become a ‘them and us’ society with foreigners (and those who defend them) on the ‘them’ side.
    It has been a strange year for both of us as we have both been undergoing unsettling changes and have been caught up in this political drama.But I guess it is just ‘our turn’ (as the leaves that fall from the trees in ‘Carousel’)
    But some friendships are constant and it is surprising and wonderful that we have found kindred spirits on here
    Lindy xx

    Liked by 1 person

    July 9, 2016
    • I’m glad you enjoyed it, though unsurprised. Not because I flatter myself as a writer but rather because you and I live in some sort of curious parallel and are clearly Siamese Twins, separated at birth. My husbands best friend described himself as ‘a brother from a different mother’ …. I understand that and though we have never met we have connected in a way that enriches my life. Oddly I haven’t felt comfortable in Britain for a very long time. When I moved to France my youngest daughter replied when asked if she minded – ‘it shouldn’t surprise anyone – England has hardly been kind to you, has it?’ That the unease had now burst and soured to a pustulus river of hatred should surprise no-one. But perhaps those that shout about wanting to make Britain Great again should remember that the vast majority of so called Brits are foreign if you understand history and conquests both of and by us and that we invited immigrants either peacefully or forcibly to build the now defunct and dusty Empire and to rebuild what was left of the country after WW2 when as ALLIES not as a lone soldier we overthrew a tyrant who could just as easily be replicated in this disenchanted, discontented, uncaring and Uncompassionate

      Like

      July 9, 2016
      • As allies in combat and continued, w/my heart wrapped around this question, what could the U.S. do to prevent our history from being repeated in Britain? Asked by one friend to another and one citizen to a countryman (woman) by birth.

        BESIDES THE DUCK TAPING OF TRUMP’S VERY SMALL MOUTH.

        Liked by 1 person

        July 14, 2016
      • I will consider a response before I post it but you shall have my thoughts ….

        Like

        July 14, 2016
    • Sorry – pressed before I’d finished ….. Uncompassionate un-United Kingdom today. We will find our way but it is so terribly hard being caught in a vortex that is wholly not of your own making. Xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      July 9, 2016
      • A vortex not of our own making – I couldn’t have put that better………
        ‘Great’ Britain was a myth put about by war mongers.
        When I asked a cousin why she had voted for Brexit, she replied that we can make Britain ‘Great’ again – I asked when would that have been before the EU? In 1976 maybe, when there were strikes in almost all public sectors, rubbish piled high in the streets three day working week, civil unrest, race riots and electricity cuts.
        Or maybe 1966 when the inner cities were full of slums and half of the people did not have an indoor toilet, car or phone and were considered, and I was considered ‘posh and privileged’ because I went on an annual caravan holidayto far flung places such as Devon or Cornwall- let alone all the frappery that we enjoy now.
        Or maybe she meant 1956 with rationing still in place and a very rudimental national health service>
        1936 – the great depression?
        Ah she must have meant 1946 just after we had suffered the second bloody was in Europe in the century.
        She told me that I had ‘overstepped the mark’ Truth is, they do not want to hear the truth, but be swept away on a tide of rhetoric created by the ‘popular press’ and the two instigators, who have now jumped ship like the cowardly rats they are
        Others when asked why, say because they thought that we could do with a change – well they have certainly got their wish come true……..
        Again I asked what did they want a change from – nice housing, good economy, nice car (or two!) An affordable foreign holiday (or three) a year, cheap goods in the shops, freedom to travel, live and study abroad and peace that has endured 70 years…….ah yes they thought they needed a change, when the truth is that their lives have changed very little up to now, while millions of Europeans living in the Ununited Kingdom and 100’s of thousands of ex pats living in Europe have had their lives have been sent into turmoil XXX

        Like

        July 9, 2016
      • That my dear has nailed it – I can only echo every word you say and quote a friend of mine (in Wales) who posted s picture of her hand putting her postal vote into the letterbox a week before the referendum with the line ‘I won’t tell you what I voted but here’s a clue – it rhymes with BRAIN’. Now far be it for me to condemn 17M people as brainless but there does seem to have been a collective naivety, a lemming-like following of clearly groundless promises and a singular lack of any grasp on history or current affairs. Xxx

        Like

        July 10, 2016
      • We should have our own show!
        But here is an interesting theory. I am studying teaching and my daughter has just introduced me to Haberman and his theory of communicative action. Where he states there are two types of dialogue / argument – one that imposes its opinion by force through dialogue, and the other where the force of an argument prevails and can lead to dilogical learning and change of opinion.
        I’m afraid the former was applied, with anyone who presented a counter opinion shouted down in a very loud, rude and often aggressive manner – I witnessed this everywhere from social media, to the press to in the shops and on the buses and trains.
        They simply did not want to hear.

        Liked by 1 person

        July 10, 2016
      • I am really interested in this and will certainly look more deeply into Haberman’s theories but certainly I witnessed the former with total incredulity on social media including being called ‘pathetic’ by someone who didn’t even know me because I dated comment on a friend’s timeline that I was niggled that the then 4M signatures calling for a second vote were being told a flat ‘no’ by Downing Street which I happened to think was rather an un-democratic response.

        Like

        July 10, 2016
      • When I asked people if they watched the debate on Paxman or the interview on the Andrew Marr show – I was met with mostly blank looks, I’m afraid a vast majority that I came into contact with they relied on the Mirror and the Mail for their expert opinions.
        I am now coming home on Sunday the 7th – so shall be open for weddings and Bar mitzvahs from the 8th to the 11th xx

        Liked by 1 person

        July 10, 2016
      • I will email you an excellent article by Henry Porter in Vanity Fair …. I think Paxman and Marr would enjoy it too but not your average Daily Fail reader 🙂 xx

        Liked by 1 person

        July 10, 2016
      • As I said, I really did enjoy reading the conversation between you and #lindaravello, but I need to add another side to the conversation.
        When younger we are required to study our country’s history, memorize it, subject ourselves to the testing of our memory, pass with hopes of an honorable mention next to the grade and then we are required to ‘Move On’ to the next memory exercise.
        This boring and repetitious practice to test a student’s immediate memory does nothing to show and teach retention. So why should the history so finely tuned and eloquently written by both you and #lindaravello have any meaning and value to a younger reader that has not ‘experienced’ it.
        It can be maddening and extremely frustrating when the “Important & Remember! Do Not Repeat This Part of History” sign is ignored. The “Do Not Repeat” sign was and still is being ignored?

        To end or make my point, while trying to stand up for a couple of generations that haven’t a clue and are not at fault as to why any of us might be irritated in this post and keeping briefly in the fore front, there is one more example that gives credence to, “it’s not real until it is experienced.”

        In the U.S., students are taught about the multiple wars that our Great, Great, Great, Great Grandfather (+or- a ‘Great’) to the generation of our fathers, fought in for the love of country. The priority in the lesson book was… “What was the cause of each and every war?” Memorize it and don’t repeat the cause! Greed is always an easy label to stick on most wars, but the remaining causes differed as time progressed. Time will change cause and reason. How do you prepare for that?

        I’m going to go low with this percentage and say that 60% of the men & women that voluntarily signed up or were drafted into The Vietnam War didn’t know WTF they were going to be fighting for & dying for!
        Once the fear and horror of war was experienced, the number of questions and WTFs were countless. The war was ‘real’ now.

        We and I mean ‘we’ need to take our history and make it relevant, if that is really even possible. History is not exempt from change and neither are we. If a piece of history has no application in today’s world, then let it fly. It’s a waste of time, because it won’t help feed the hungry, house a family, stop the next assassin’s bullet, prevent a suicide, prevent an overdose, stop the slaughtering (round them up and shoot them dead), to end hatred, to end bigotry and discrimination, to end inequality, to end war or bring peace.

        None of this becomes real for too many people, until they are touched by it or tapped on the shoulder.
        Until Brexit lands in more than a few backyards, it stays out of site and out of mind.

        My sadness seems to be turning into anger. It will lessen as the minutes tick down. I do hope that I didn’t offend anyone, that was not my intent.

        Liked by 1 person

        July 16, 2016
      • What you have said is not offensive it is absolutely spot on. Without relevance nothing can possibly stick – the great teachers (and I was fortunate to have some excellent exemplars amongst some rotters) have the gift to make their subject relevant and real. Many do not leaving students ignorant of anything but the fundamental and disembodied facts. The Brexit brigade will certainly not understand until they feel – sadly it seems those who took s different view have no choice but to feel the consequences too. Great points, eloquently and passionately made Jane – thank you 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        July 16, 2016
  31. Of course, who would admit that the exchange between you and lindaravello was not only educational, enlightening, passionate, courageous, heartfelt and compassionate, it served as a reminder that an ethical conviction is worth a little word power.
    I have no doubt that there are more than a few reading these threads/conversations. THAT’S A GOOD THING!

    Liked by 1 person

    July 14, 2016
    • You’d have enjoyed our ‘offline’ conversation even more, I think 😉

      Like

      July 14, 2016
  32. Liked by 1 person

    July 16, 2016
  33. Just read (or re read) this post – je suis complement perdu!
    Didn’t realize that you had known Jo – such a tragic waste, as many others before and to follow.
    But you are right – I did feel anger and possibly even hatred a few years back, but it has all gone beyond that.
    Hatred is not my nature, so to have it thrust upon me is not going to be the path that I chose.
    I’m very ‘topsy turvy’ at the moment to quote Bernard Black, and trying hard to be philosophical.
    ‘I know there’s been pain and its coming again, change has sot be here, obviously. But my friend the sun is well on the run, he’s there in the distance if you care to see’
    The Strawbs – no doubt you’ll find the video on you tube – but I am on the computer that I bought from the blind lady, so can’t access them from here
    xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    August 23, 2016
    • Yes, I worked with Jo for a while …. I hope people continue to remember and heed her example. Little by little we will get through but there are darker days ahead. You, my dear are a sister from another mother, I’ve always recognised that. You tick in the same discursive gyroscopic upon downy round and round way but the heart longs for goodness. Xxxx

      Like

      August 23, 2016
      • OH my – Gyroscopic is one hell of a word – going to use it whenever I can>
        I learnt a couple of days ago that a ‘girasole’ is a sunflower (tournasol) in Italian.
        This is like us, constantly seeking the sun – as in the words to the song also xxx

        Liked by 1 person

        August 23, 2016

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