Let me take you by the hand
Imagine for a moment what it might be like if every single day were just the same as the one before and the ones to come stretching endlessly ahead taunting with their refusal to give any hope. No light at the end of the tunnel, treated like an object to be scuttled past hurredly by those who prefer not to be tainted by the invisible plague you so clearly carry. To have the humiliation of having to beg for the odd coin from those same scurrying strangers. To have no roof, no bed, no blankets. To be reliant on a bundle of stinking rags and decaying cardboard to bring some warmth whatever the season and including the biting depths of winter. To have no clue if the ache in your belly might be assuaged at any point today by some sort of meagre nourishment. To wear the cloak of invisibility simultaneously with the suit of shame by the crowds that fix their gaze anywhere but at you, assuming as they do that somehow you deserve to be where you are. In the gutter.
My friend, actually HB²’s oldest friend, Gee often remarks that we are all of us ever two steps from the gutter. There but for the grace of something or other. There we could be. Gee and I have both faced a future with nothing. Possessions sold for puny pickings in a seemingly pathetic attempt to keep our battered boats floating. Both of us fell hard. At different times and neither knowing the other. I can assure you it is levelling and I suspect far too many of you have similar stories.
Homelessness is a cause close to my heart and I wanted to do something tangible at Christmas. Having signed up for the big Christmas Eve surprisingly baudy bash for the old and alone, I was niggled by the notion that what I had intended to do was something of value to those who are sleeping rough. This city has good systems in place to aid les sans abris (homeless). Very very good, but there are still those who have no place to go. So I took the money that I would have spent on presents for the family and I bought the makings of care packages. I researched the subject thoroughly and some of what I found was quite shocking. There were several articles that cautioned me against doing what my heart screamed was the right thing for fear of causing offence. Don’t misunderstand me, I entirely agree that swooping down like an evangelising buzzard wearing a judgemental halo and a self-righteous expression would be offensive, but given that we are often urged not to give money for fear of perpetuating drugs or alcohol abuse, it begins to feel as though there is a danger that people are being given the ultimate get-out via the interweb, the excuse to do nothing at all. Being a bolshy bird, I ignored the advice, took note of the various lists that seemed to make sense and sallied forth to the shops to buy what I could afford. Gloves, socks, chocolate, granola bars, toothpaste and brush, liquid soap, wet wipes, tissues – there was more but I don’t want to bore you with my shopping list. I wrapped them with the care I would put into any Christmas gift which is not to say they were exactly elegant but that the thought was evident.
On Christmas morning, surprisingly spruce from the night before, The Bean and I set out to the places we knew we would find those whose celebration had not started and was not expected to. I sat with each in turn, some petted the dog, some were deeply suspicious, some less so. I talked to them. I let them talk to me. We are, after all, simply humans and even though my French can still be less than polished when speaking to strangers, the fact is that decency and kindness disolve barriers.
One of those I sat with, I sit with regularly. He calls me ‘Princesse’ or rather he mostly calls me Princess, occasionally I am promoted to ‘la reine’ (the Queen). His story is this: he had it all – wife, children, good job. He worked very hard at his job and often worked late and away. She had an affair and asked for a divorce. He preferred that she keep their house for the sake of his children. New man moved into his old house and his ex wife and his children had a new life, a life that he didn’t figure in. He began to feel increasingly alienated from his children. He became depressed and began to drift at work. He lost his job. He was unable to pay his ex-wife child support so she stopped him for seeing his children. He turned to drinking and his alcoholism spiralled out of control. He spent his rent money on booze and soon he lost his roof. It’s a simple and achingly familiar tale. It’s a tale that should resonate with us all because I promise you that only one thread of our fragile lives has to unravel and we can find ourselves sitting next to my friend begging for the money to feed a habit that blanks out the bitterness of reality. I met him once in the local Intermarché buying groceries – he was armed with his food tokens and was horrified to see me. I passed him by and pretended not to see him out of respect. This man did not want la princesse to see his circumstances even though he knows full well that I know he doesn’t live in a hunky dory homes and gardens centrefold house and that a roof other than a canopy of stars is an occasional luxury in his life. Respect. Along with decency and kindness, respect is the silent gift that we can give to all, no matter what their appearance.
All of those I gave parcels to were happy to receive and happy to chat for a few minutes. It was the least I could do. To remember that their faces are the faces of someone’s child, someone’s sibling, someone’s parent perhaps. Not at all the face of someone who has chosen to be faceless and passed over as we hurry about our frightfully important lives.
I am prompted to write this follow up to my last post by the Weekly Photo Challenge titled ‘A Face In The Crowd’. The laudable gallery of other entries is here.
The picture was taken on my recent visit to my mother in England. I generally don’t take pictures of people, in fact I do everything in my power to avoid photographing strangers, feeling as I do that it is an invasion of privacy to snap and post on whatever Social Media forum is the flavour in favour. Actually in France it is an offence to publish an image of a person without their express permission. So my picture is a sheepy face in a flock. He is the odd one out and is standing apart from all the rest. It seems to fit what I am saying.
PS: Because there must always be a PS, the title comes from a song that I first heard as a young girl. It affected me then as it affects me now. It is touching and too familiar and no matter whether we are talking of London, as Ralph McTell is in the song, though he originally penned it as ‘Streets of Paris’, or another place entirely, the fact is that all these years later the scourge of homelessness has only got worse. And the very least we can do is to not be arrogant enough to imagine that our fortune is in some way an immunisation, to not judge but rather to be sympathetic and mindful that a kind word, a smile and indeed a coin, even if that coin gets spent on something we disapprove of, is far preferable to turning our stoney faces away and pretending we do not see. There but for the grace, so my beg is to please – be graceful.
Streets of London
Ralph McTell
Have you seen the old man
In the closed-down market
Kicking up the paper,
With his worn out shoes?
In his eyes you see no pride
Hand held loosely at his side
Yesterday’s paper telling yesterday’s news
Chorus:
So how can you tell me you’re lonely,
And say for you that the sun don’t shine.
Let me take you by the hand and lead you through the streets of London
I’ll show you something to make you change your mind
Have you seen the old girl
Who walks the streets of London
Dirt in her hair and her clothes in rags?
She’s no time for talking,
She just keeps right on walking
Carrying her home in two carrier bags.
Chorus
In the all night cafe
At a quarter past eleven,
Same old man sitting there on his own
Looking at the world
Over the rim of his tea-cup,
Each tea lasts an hour
Then he wanders home alone
Chorus
Have you seen the old man
Outside the Seaman’s Mission
Memory fading with the medal ribbons that he wears
In our winter city,
The rain cries a little pity
For one more forgotten hero
And a world that doesn’t care
Chorus
That song takes me back- I always found it heartbreaking. You always seem to know the moment when I need a boot up the whatsit- to stop feeling sorry for myself and count my blessings. I was several times, as a child, within a hair’s breath of homelessness, though my Gran would never have allowed it, if she could, so I know better than to judge, I hope.
I am certain you don’t judge. Sadly many do. The song is heartbreaking and the more so because nothing changes. If you need a boot up the rear, so do I …. that was rather the prompt for me writing the piece 🙂
Not having a home, not having a hope, a life of mere existence …the victims are far too many to fathom. In India, poverty is a grave issue. I feel so positive after reading your experiences and contribution for the cause. The picture of the sheep is so unusual yet striking. It’s past bed time here…so I’ll sign off now to dreamworld.😊😊🤗
I remember when my daughter first went to India. She arrived in Mumbai, they travelled to Goa to relax for a few days and then made their way to friends in Bengalaru. After that they went to the gloriously named Tikli Bottom in Gurguam to spend Christmas with other friends of ours. All was dreamlike for these two girls. Then they travelled by train to Delhi. She rang me in hysterics, just howling with shock at what she was witnessing. I know that the same levels of poverty and distress exist across India and I have no clue what the answers are. When so called first world countries like the UK and France and the US have failed miserably in finding solutions, a population and demographic like India poses unthinkable problems. I honestly believe that if each of us do the tiny bit we can then together surely things get a little better for some. I am very fond of sheep …. the picture is really just a snap but I felt it illustrated my words quite clearly without resorting to pictures of those suffering. I hope your dreams were sweet and I send you so much warmth and hope and love from France, my lovely Indian traveler 🤗
I can only make an attempt to understand how she would have felt. We, residing in India, see such things things so often, it’s like the normal state. I used to feel worried looking at children begging at the traffic lights and poor people staying in makeshift arrangements close to roads or on pavements. After a certain point, I got over it. There is no end to misery. That’s not all, as the working population we already have so much to handle in a day that no time is left for any other thing. In India, traffic, commuting, pollution are already such huge issues. To be honest, India is battling with lot of issues, may be that’s what a developing Nation feels like.
——————————————
I really like how that Sheep is standing out, like in adverts with caption – ‘Be different’ 🙂 Thank you for those lovely and heartwarming words, my only friend from France :).
India cannot be expected to fight every battle at once. One step at a time, one issue at a time and make sure the solutions are strong and stable and then move to the next. It will take many years, decades even to get close to resolving the problems. Poverty will only naturally alleviate when economically the country is able to provide support – sadly, living in well-honed western cultures (France mainly but also the US) I see that even when economies are strong there is little left over for the poorest. We can only do what we can do.
X
This is a very sensitive post. It’s a very delicate balance between helping out and appearing condescending. Because we lived next to the central market in Bordeaux, where the homeless congregate, I used to see the same faces every day. None of them ever asked for anything, but were pleased whenever I did give them a bit of money, something for the dog, a blanket or whatever. I couldn’t have done it if I hadn’t already chatted with them and exchanged life stories.
It is indeed, extremely sensitive. I have made a point of befriending the homeless over years in different places. You are right that it is a fine line between helping and seeming to condescend. I do think though that it is important to remind that we can engage if we want to. You clearly did. I do. Many don’t.
If you smile and pass the time of day, people talk. Often that’s what they want to do, have someone to listen, give their time more than a cash offering. I was known as ‘La petite dame avec le grand chien’. It made me feel happy.
At 6’, in France I will never be la petite dame …. you are absolutely right. Talking and listening are the most precious of gifts. Breaking the stigma is the hard part ….
You’d have to get an absolutely massive dog! Treating people like human beings, no matter how little money they have too their name is what counts, I think.
I went to the opposite extreme and got one that thinks it is absolutely massive but is in fact smaller than a wild rabbit! You think right. I cannot fault that mindset. Which is only one of the reasons I value you so highly.
🙂 Small dogs often have an exaggerated sense of their importance.
Indeed they do …. yesterday she took on a beautiful Snow White Alsatian. Fortunately it was gentle and just looked rather surprised but really?
She didn’t like the cut of her jib. I rarely get a chance to use that expression—thank you 🙂
😂 🐕 😂
It is only by many strands of good fortune at different times in our lives that we are where we are now. I recall being pregnant and having 50p which was all I had in the world, and no maternity clothes. I was used to going into the local butcher’s and asking for 2 sausage. One for me and one for my husband. The woman who was deciding whether I should be allowed to be interviewed to see if I could claim whatever meagre supplement of the time was deemed appropriate looked at my belly and said ‘Well, you should have thought of that before, shouldn’t you.’ Twice, we had to temporarily separate while I and our son stayed with my parents and my husband with his sister, hundreds of miles away, simply because he couldn’t find a job even though he had a degree. You did a kind and thoughful act, so many talk the talk but find reasons not to act. On behalf of the person I so easily could have been, 🙏🏻 😘💐
What is most appalling about your story is that it doesn’t surprise me. I am so glad that your own threads of fortune knitted sufficiently to allow you and your little family to be together. The woman with her harsh and unkind words is all to familiar in that line of work. I try not to simply talk the talk – I have the luxury of time and I feel it right that I should give what I can where I can 🙂
💜
You’re an angel.
I’ve been remiss in that I’ve taken all the excess Christmas food in the house to the local food bank for the last two years. But each time, their shelves are well short – and I end up taking a trolley around the local supermarket and making a vain attempt to fill their voids. And to add treats like chocolate and the sort of breakfast cereal I’d enjoy as a kiddie.
They ask my name each time and I refuse to confess it. Just tell them that they do a wonderful job and that they have my greatest respect.
Even more appalled talking to an ex boss who used to spend a lot of his time at the Citizens Advice Bureau getting recently discharged ex service personnel housed with food and furniture. Society is really screwed up in places.
I didn’t touch on the issue of ex-servicemen – it is a crisis in the UK and a crisis in the US. Here, not so much at least in my city and I am no expert on others. Not here either, actually. Doing what you do, Ian is really really good. No shame in anonymity, the shame is in ignoring and you don’t. I am touched that you give great thought to what you enjoyed as a child. Your eyes are open to the issue and that honestly is the most important thing. As to being an Angel – you are far too kind, I am just a human with my eyes open x
You are so right. A little slip here and there and bam you are dealing with the n”new normal. “. You have a very hood heart my friend.
We none of us know what is around the corner, it’s true. I wish everyone had the heart to see that and the understanding that we are all human and that human kindness is something we can all offer. It takes a good heart to know one ❤️
On the streets of Madrid, beside a big department store, there laid a bed with a sheet tucked neatly around it. The person’s possessions stacked up beside the mattress. The owner nowhere to be seen. Everyone goes about their regular business as if this scene is nothing new. Having what seemed like a bedroom on a footpath isn’t new to them. It all just felt rather odd!
I doubt it was that person’s choice but what I take from your vignette is that even at their lowest ebb this person chooses to maintain standards. And that the Spanish like most in Europe are so used to the crisis of homelessness that they don’t find it in the slightest bit strange to see a bedroom in the street. Rather than odd, I find it appallingly sad.
Yes, I should have said sad too as of course it is!. In NZ it would be odd to see as the homeless tend to hide for their own safety esp woman!
It is a world endemic and no-one really wants to lead on resolving the issues (which are mighty and complex) because it would take a huge shift in the way we think to address them properly. So the beds will continue to sit outside stores in Madrid, the cardboard cities will mushroom all over the world, the women will continue to be raped and abused and allow themselves to be for the sake of a sou, the young will look out with hollow eyes at a future that is barren and desolate and the old men will make a tin of beer last until the hat has sufficient coppers to buy the next. And so the world turns. But then again … every journey starts with a single step and I’ve never been one to turn a blind eye – far too bluddy nosey!
Good that you don’t turn a blind eye and there are many that don’t. There are many ways of helping and I like the idea of paying it forward if someone behind you is trying to scrape money together to buy basic food items. Keep up being nosey, the world needs more 🙂
A post that is touching and inspiring in equal parts. As I listen to the powerful lyrics of Streets of London, it puts things into perspective. Words can carry such weight in them. Thank you for this reminder, Osyth, that ‘only one thread of our fragile lives has to unravel’. xx
Thank you DD, that song is unforgettable and it is the lyrics that endure. The pen really is mightier than the sword, a fact that we who love words can use to the advantage of those in need. I’m glad you picked that line – it is the essence of what I am trying to say xx
Very touching story…it is so important to remember they are people…in some parts of the world the homeless literally have no status at all – as if they aren’t even part of the human race
Thank you, John …. it is so important and yet so easy to push it out of centre space in our heads, understandably so. It is a huge problem and you are so right to point to the places where the homeless are literally cast out of humanity … what the answers are I do not know, I can postulate and I can idealise but in a world with so many other issues it is hardly surprising that the weakest become the forgotten.
When I was a child my heart broke every time I saw a homeless person and I was thinking when I grow old I will act so that nobody is homeless … Now I am grown up and I must admit I don’t care, because I think if they really want to succeed they should just work, everybody can find a job if they really want to… Thank you for making me aware that it is not true with the story of the man who calls you princesse
I fully understand your remarks, my friend and in fact I wrote a piece last June (I can’t seem to put a link here but if you go to the search box and enter ‘I want to be alone’ you will find it) which deals with the other side of the street dwellers and they make me nothing but angry …. les punks au chiens, for example. They can work. They should work. I too get irritated by those that beg and bully because they don’t want to work or because the work available is beneath them in some perceived way. But then there are men like my friend whose life dealt him a blow he couldn’t deal with. Depression is a real illness and he tried to self medicate with alcohol quickly becoming dependent. Now he is lost. He would work, I believe but he is in a rough state and most would not employ him, he also has no address which makes it hard for employers to take him on. I have encouraged him to clean up, I tell him there’s a handsome face under that scruffy exterior. Sometimes he manages to go a few days without drinking but alcoholism is a controlling mistress with guile and temptation in every finger she caresses with and he has spells when he drinks heavily. The difficult thing is to differentiate between those that can work and are simply taking for the sake of not wanting to work (we call it ‘spongeing’ or ‘freeloading’ in English perhaps you can tell me the French words?) and those that have had a moment of misfortune that has thrown them into homelessness. I always enjoy your comments and I hope you are having a lovely day …. birds are singing here in Grenoble and I think they are telling me that Spring is coming at last which probably means it will snow tonight!!! 🤗
I don’t know if there is a special word in French for ‘freeloaders” I woud say “parasites” or “profiteurs’ … I understand you, I know a man who was madly in love with his wife then they divorced and he had a nervous breakdown and began to drink and now I think he doesn’t care wether if he lives or he dies …
Birds are singing here in Bordeaux as well but we expect a few cold days before Spring, have a lovely day Osyth! 🙂
Poor man. Hopelessness is the most dreadful of fates. I will use those words very freely and loudly when speaking of les punks in future – thank you. And I wish you too une très belle journée 😊
Thank you, très belle soirée 🙂
C’est moi … et a toi! 😊
Your post moved me deeply Osyth, just as that song always has and always does, even when I sing it on my guitar. You’re right when you say that none of us is immune to circumstances that could change our life in an instant. The other day on the train in the city I gave a museli bar to a beggar, just a tiny gesture I know but still something. Thank you for writing a heartfelt and meaningful post. Your kind heart shone through brightly. x 💙
Thank you, Miriam. It is a wonderful song, a keeper through life, a great reminder that never fails to reach deep into the heart and pluck it’s strings. I used to play it on my guitar with my best school friend in local pubs – it was part of our repertoire of songs. I was just remarking to my daughter the other day that I would like to buy another guitar and play again …. I am heartened by your story, what you did was what you could – we all can if we will but most don’t so I thank you for being the good heart. Take good care ❤️
You too Osyth, and maybe it’s time to pick up another guitar and sing those tunes again. Stay well. x ❤️
So many people blind to what is there in front of them, so many people of power who are complacent and self centred, so many societies that seem not to care.
Thank you Osyth, and all those who do care, and who do help alleviate the suffering in a small way.
Thank YOU Pete … your comment absolutely nails it. It is a collective complacency led by heartless ruling parties that perpetuate the problem. My piece only scratches the surface in one place but in the end if we are all prepared to scratch our local surface perhaps we can make a real difference.
I’m willing to keep scratching!
Seriously, there are people who say that you shouldn’t offer things to the homeless for fear of offending them?? I’m guessing that those are people who haven’t ever actually NEEDED anything… I’m with you on this one.
Yes, seriously. You can imagine the language that was being used in my living room, from me to the screen as I turned these do-gooding, self-righteous articles up. As you rightly say, these are people who don’t know the meaning of the word ‘need’ – sadly many of them sit in positions of power, spouting good intentions when they need votes and then conveniently forgetting the issues once they have their bum on the throne.
Oh Fiona – I was just thinking it’s been a while since you wrote, so I was so excited to see your post. And WOW! Thank you for this. You deeply touched my heart as you so many times do with your sincere love for humanity. Your sensitivity to those who need love is so beautiful. I so admire you Fiona!
Jodi, you are a woman of tremendous kindness, sincerity and decency and that is why the post touched you. I am proud to call you my friend, a friend who is equally sensitive and willing to reach out to those in need. Thank you. ❤️
❤️☺️
Even as I read the title of your post, the song started playing in my head, and the tears began prickling — as they always do when I hear it. Homelessness is such a huge, confronting issue, and I wonder if some of the desire to turn the other way is a terrible realisation, deep down, that it COULD happen to us.
Of your wonderful Christmas gifts, what can I say. You are a good woman. It is easy to be overwhelmed by the scale of, even local, homelessness, and to (as I do) rage about the structural causes and the injustices of “the system”. It is not easy to act; to shop, to create parcels, to wrap them with care and love, and to go out and actually give. You are a good woman.
It is the most affecting of songs ….. I can never manage to sing along without crying. Homelessness is a chronic and terribly complex issue. I think you are on to something with this theory. That people do know deep down it could be them and that is why they hurry past and pretend not to notice. I will give this further thought. It makes sense. I’d did what I could. I was on my own for Christmas and it just seemed an easy thing to do. Or rather, I felt I could so I would. It really is that simple. Thank you for your thoughtful comment (as usual!) …. I do value you very highly.
Thank you 🙂
It my theory that a lot of negative talk and behaviour towards homelessness — and poverty generally — is rooted in fear. I was trying to figure out why so many people seem to need to assign blame to misfortune. You know the “drunk, layabout, drug-addict, work-shy, having-kids-to-screw-the-social” theories of poverty. I think it’s a distancing tactic. It’s saying “these people have character flaws that bring about misfortune; I don’t have these flaws, so I’ll be alright.”
I come from a family of “blamers” and it’s something I’ve thought a lot about.
Random acts of kindness are always inspirational, especially if they are not so random, executed by a person who goes out of her way to look for those unfortunate in need of kindness – I truly admire you, dear Osyth!
Years ago, I taught Multicultural Awareness (one of the requirements for teaching certification in Florida). Every semester my students and I organized a cultural festival for the entire campus. It took us a couple of months to win trust of some homeless people who at that time lived in a makeshift cardboard city under an overpass. Several gentlemen eventually showed up and participated (ladies got scared when they heard about police academy on campus). One of those men turned out to be an artist. He did all our props, banners, etc., while the rest of them happily lugged this stuff around. it proved to me and my students that sensitivity and respect is worth more than a Cuban sandwich or a slice of pizza, even though we fed them plenty of those.
How that story makes my heart sing! You are a good woman, Dolly and this is a wonderful example of an initiative that so clearly gave much to those who need it. For that time those people felt needed, valued, supported and equal. I have tears. Thank you for being you, Dolly and thank you for your kind remarks to me.
Right back to you – thank you for being you!
P.S. What makes you think I am a woman? I am a cat! 😻
Meow 🐱 ❤️
Yep! 😻
Love your method, giving something with a smile and listening ear. That is so precious for everyone, but particularly the marginalized.
I spent a good portion of my life not giving, primarily because it’s what I was told was best. “They’ll just spend it on alcohol” and “they’re able-bodied, they can work” and so on. Then one day, I’m not sure what it was, maybe a sermon I heard at church? Something clicked and I decided no matter what, even if it was only a few coins, I’d start giving. Every time. So I did, and a funny thing happened. I actually started looking at the people. Talking to them, seeing them, really noticing them. I guess I’m a slow learner, but it was a big revelation to me!
I think many are exactly the same. I spent many years in London and I refused to give money. I would take people to cafes for a cup of tea and a sandwich but I would not give money. There are still those that I won’t give money to, by the way – there are what we call ‘punk au chien’ here and I won’t give to them, they bully, they are not kind to their dogs – the dogs are a prop – and they could work but choose not too. I offered to take one to MacDonalds on a Sunday morning early on in my time in this City, having asked why he needed money and been told he was hungry, and he swore at me 😉 But for those like my friend, I don’t judge any more. He has patches when he is able to cope without alcohol and then that wily mistress tempts him again and he lapses. I have encouraged him to clean up, told him there is a good face under the crust and ragged beard but mostly I know that he is broken and that the system doesn’t have the infrastructure to really help. Slow learning is often the best way, when the lightbulb illuminates it tends to stay bright 💡
You are a princess….hands down a queen of love and caring….I took up buying all the dogs on the street with there masters on the corners sitting, looking up at him or her with big eyes and I am sure a hunger belly…so a little bag of dog food and a sandwich for the their master…its something…don’t do it all the time…but when I see them a couple times in the same place…xx
You are a good woman! That is such a lovely thing that you do. We can’t help everyone all the time but however occasional I’ll bet it is happily received and that those you give to think even if they don’t say ‘that lady is a princess’ xx
LOL I hate to say it, I am really doing it for the dogs…LOL I have a hard time when I see the man or woman smoking while asking for help…the price of cig’s are astronomical, pretty expensive habit…maybe I am being a bit judgmental….but the animals didn’t ask to go hungry…..Bean looked pretty happy with Elle….XXXXXXXX
You inspire me. At Christmas, instead of exchanging gift, we donate to a charity that gives swags (all-weather sleeping bags) to the homeless, but you remind me that I could do so much more—and not just at Christmas.
Thank you Peggy. What you do is a wonderful thing. Those sleeping bags are vital in helping. This year it was easy for me to do what I did. I was on my own, I did not want to feel sorry for myself and so I had the time and the purse to do what I did. There will always be more that we can do. It would be nice to think that Governments might actually attack the real issues but that, I’m afraid has been pie in the sky my whole life through …..
Yes, there is always more but, as you say, it would be nice if governments tackled the issues, which would rely on a robust and fair tax system. Pie in the sky indeed!
I am having some difficulty writing this comment because, every time I revisit your post my eyes fill with blinding tears. Osyth I am grateful for your given nature and that you act apon your desires to help. Your mind and heart have successfully found a common ground and joined. My tears are filled with REAL JOY after reading this post and all of the heartfelt comments. My tears are also filled with heartache, knowing that we can’t just pop over to see each other and talk about what you wrote. Double edged swords are common for the many when left with self to survive. BUT… the compassion, the decency and the empathy felt in your words will always win out at the end of the day. You are ‘The Real Deal’ Osyth.
Thank you. That is all I have to say. Thank you. I know that you, of all my readers truly understand. We will be close enough one of these days. I really look forward to being able to spend time talking and sharing ideas. In the end compassion, decency and kindness are free. Empathy is a tougher one but if for those prepared to open their hearts it just nips in and feels so much better than resentment. Go softly my friend, I’ll be home soon
I was happy to see you had a new post and waited to get home to read it. I sit here now in silence, held in your kindness and compassion. Deeply touched by the rawness and vulnerability I experience in your descriptions of the living conditions of homeless people, your words then accentuated by the song and the images in the video.
There are so many homeless people in California and the population is growing at an alarming rate. The son of a friend of mine is an addict/alcoholic who lives with his girlfriend underneath a freeway in Oakland. They live in a tent, on the sidewalk, in a growing community of homeless people. They are constantly sick and malnourished. A downward spiral that seems unsurmountable. Sanitary conditions are virtually non existent and hepatitis seems to be rapidly getting around. It feels so overwhelming and heartbreaking!
At some point I was made aware of how challenging it is for homeless women to deal with their menses. Sanitary napkins are expensive here and women are often at high risk of infections due to the lack of basic, proper pads. I now carry small packages of them in my car so I can hand them out when I sense the woman might be open to receiving them.
Wishing you well ….. Shanti
Where do I start with this achingly beautiful comment. I know from others that the problem in CA is spiraling way out of control. I know from others that the scale is rapidly being replicated in other areas. I have a friend (he was my husband’s assistant for several years) who heads a project in New England for people in poverty – his stories make my toes curl and that is in entitled Massachusetts and Connecticut. It is all around us but many choose to close their eyes, fundamentally governments not just in the US but in Europe too. Paying lip-service does not alleviate anything but it does get votes and once in they conveniently forget their promises. I am so sorry about your friend’s son … for the parents, for the friends it is helpless and terrifying. I didn’t mention the Sani-pads I included in packs for the ladies but you are right that it is a very real concern that ladies are getting dreadful infections as a result of having nothing but unhygienic solutions to their mensis. What you do is wonderful. Really wonderful and it is SOMETHING. That is the real thing. If everyone did something the dent would be immense but there is so much fear and stigma around those living on the streets and under bridges and the cycle doesn’t just perpetuate it grows exponentially. Shanti, I am proud to know you. Thank you 🙏
It’s hard to imagine how difficult it must be to have no home to return to at the end of the day, and no hope of any light at the end of your tunnel. That was a very thoughtful thing you did, and makes me wonder if I should be doing more. Each Christmas we give money to a charity that aims to get young people off the streets of London, and also donate new socks and underwear to a winter shelter for the homeless which operates in another town in England. It doesn’t seem much really.
Elaine it is SOMETHING and far more than nothing. I hear what you are saying but not everyone is in a position to do more than donate and you are donating to a place that has an infrastructure and the ability to really hope those young people. Socks, by the way, are the most important gift you can give. And Sani Pads for the ladies. Food, of course is vital as is a toothbrush and paste if the food is sweet. Nothing will ever feel enough. Sometimes I sit in despair wondering how I can do more, convince more to do more. In the end I think if we all do something then all those somethings add up to a difference. The big difference can only come if a Government wants to put the issue front and centre and attack it at the roots, providing real solutions, housing, back to work problems, rehab etc and that costs a huge amount …. the real question is how much a government can risk out of its coffers and sadly the answer is generally a pitiful amount. Keep being you, keep doing what you do and know that you are a good woman!
Our friend who works at the winter shelter each year also said that new socks are THE most prized gift that can be given. I think the government has very little to spare (for everything it seems!) so I can’t see a solution to the problem materialising soon.
Globally that is the problem …. here in France it is so, in the US where I live some of the time, it is so and I grew up in the UK and it seems to have always been so. I don’t have answers for politicians, I’m far to much of a hope and dreamer for that, so I just urge all to do what they can, as you do and certainly to donate socks!
Socks it is then!
There is just one sentence in this post to which I take exception: “It was the least I could do.” Simply untrue. The least you could have done was nothing. Or what many of us do: judge, or believe that those among us who are homeless choose to be so, that they are weak or somehow different from you and me. There but, indeed. It haunts me at times. Yet I do nothing, or certainly nothing at the scale of your gesture, however meagre you consider it to be. A wonderful way to spend your Christmas, and fully in keeping with the person I know (however virtually) you to be! x
You can if you will. I could so I did. That simple. When you have Christmas on your own (and it was the sensible and reasonable thing this year but nonetheless facing it felt odd) then your perspective changes. Or mine did. And I am selfish and I didn’t want to sit in contemplating my resentful navel. I am also fortunate to have the time in a relatively small city to wander and assess. We have punks au chiens a plenty, aggressive, bullying and with no excuse not to work and contribute to the coffers that could then help those in genuine need. They get nothing from me. I did offer a MacDo to one early on when I asked why he needed money and he said he was hungry. He swore at me. I rested my case. But I have had the time to get to know, if only by sight, those genuine homeless so it seemed very simple to take packages out to them. What I am saying is that without that time, it is a minefield and it is natural that one is chary of giving to the wrong person. In the end it falls to Governments to follow through on the hollow promises they make on their electoral platforms and provide the infrastructures needed but that is costly and possibly unpopular in reality when the reality means higher taxes and lower standards of service to pay for it. X
I know several people who are homeless. I grew up with them. Most reached the street via drugs and alcohol. Probably self-medicating for depression, but I can’t say for sure in all the cases. One was the red-haired “bad boy” of my grade school class; he got into drugs, and eventually his parents, afraid of him, threw him out. Another is my best friend’s little brother, once a functioning alcoholic who eventually no longer functioned; again, his father kicked him out when he became violent. And there are others.
Even more injust than those who become prisoners of their drug/drink demons are those who work yet cannot afford to pay rent. Where hand-to-mouth is so slim that in the calculus of where to spend one’s meager earnings, only food gets ticked off, and then just barely. They live in cars, sometimes with children, who go to school and who put on a façade of leading normal lives in hopes that one day it will become real. I do not understand how a business owner can sleep at night knowing his business plan depends on paying people too little to live on, yet many seem to have no problem with it at all.
I am glad you followed your heart and made Christmas less bleak for these fellow human beings.
A good friend of ours (he was my husband’s assistant for many years and then moved on) runs a programme in New England for the poorest. Initially he managed the programme in Massachusetts. All your stories would have him nodding his head because they are all too familiar. Massachusetts as we know is a wealthy state ….. he is now in Connecticut and in line to head up the whole programme which covers New England. Toe curling your stories, and toe curling his. And we all know that these are just the tip. The people we have known individually. It is the biggest disgrace of humanity that employers are allowed to pay under the poverty line to get the jobs they want done. I did a little, want to do a lottle and I am stranded, as we collectively are, on an island of dismay and despair because the endemic is out of control and the lawmakers and politicians prefer not to touch it. Thank you for being kind about what I did but honestly it was meager.
You are a beacon of goodness – long may your light shine and gently illuminate the rightness of doing things.
That comment has me tearing up, Claudette. I’m just me and I know that I am typing these words to a truly good person – your kindness humbles me.
Ah, see you humble me. Let’s keep our mutual adoration circle going – Winter is Coming here, and dark days are sure to hover when I shall need your light <3
With the greatest pleasure, Claudette – you are, as my children would say, ‘a lifer’ 😊
Thank you
Beautifully compassionate and tender, Osyth. Good to hear that song again.
Thank you so much Derrick …. that song got under my skin in 1974 and stayed 🙂
I am so touched reading this…especially when you mentioned the story of a very successful man who became homeless for making some bad choices in the past…its a very heartbreaking tale..we have so many homeless people here and i wish we could provide roofs for them..but since we (our family) can’t really afford that what we do is that every christmas we open our home for a day of fun, food and games to some chosen homeless people…we have been doing this for almost 15 years…the experiences and the lessons learned each year are really worth holding on..
What you do is quite beautiful. Really. Very. Those people benefit from your actions incalculably and you, of course learn from them too. My fellow is a very sad case and so are all the others. If we all do what we can then maybe we will shift things a little. The problem, globally, is immense and growing – it will take more than a little shift to resolve it so in the meantime you and your open hours, me and my little parcels, another reader with her packs of sanitary protection carried in the car for needy women, yet another who gives socks and gloves to a charity and another who provides all weather sleeping bags, all of us giving what we can are the difference to many lives. And I thank you and send you my warmest wishes from France, dear friend
I am happy to know that we share the same advocay for the homeless…i pray that this little steps of ours will make a difference for others to share too or do the same..
That was a hard-hitting piece of writing, Osyth. I suspect you have shamed many of us, including me. My feeble attempts to help people have been exactly that – feeble. “Can I buy you a sandwich?” “No, just give me the money”. ‘Your’ man’s tale could have happened to any of us. It’s not that people don’t care (mostly) – I suspect they’re frightened and don’t know how to handle themselves. Your article leaves me in awe. And listening to that song again has reminded me of how good it is, and its message, which is why I used to like it all those years ago.
I don’t set out to shame, merely to state my own version of reality. Buying a sandwich and a cuppa for someone is a good thing. I used to refuse to give money but I have softened – only since being here and hearing the stories. But it is a thorny road. I am fortunate to have the luxury of time to wander and make assessments about whether it is right to give money. We have what I dub les faux abris who are spongeing in my vernacular. I don’t give to them. It’s my choice. There’s too. But there are too many who are worthy and some of them are sunk too deep into their own addiction and they will spend the coppers on drugs and alcohol. The disgrace are governments who repeatedly do nothing. No money in helping this endemic. But those that walk past should not be shamed but rather encouraged to listen to the reason of bonkers birds like me. Because I understand the fear, I really do. It’s very very real and I have been warned so many times to be careful so I hear those cries from the folks who pass by. But honestly? Most of these hard done by’s whose lives took a wrong turn and turned them into faceless bundles of rags, most of them are harmless and ordinary just like the rest of us. So smile. A smile is our greatest gift. And if its reciprocated, pass the time of day. Ask how they are. That’s it really. And that song? He nailed it and it never fails to hit my heart and that, I guess is what I am trying to do. It takes one foot forward to start a revolution and I would be very happy if I could be the pied piper of this one.
The scale of homelessness is a disgrace to society. Governments are not interested in either studying the causes or alleviating the effects.
The posters warning us not to give anything directly are also a disgrace…..when the systems are clearly failing why try to remove the one act that can help.
I give money, I am not organised enough to pack parcels, and if I am not genuinely pushed for time I talk.
Yesterday in Castellon the elderly man tenderly tucking his little dog into a warm, waterproof shelter against the rain told me that it had been a gift from the owner of the pet supplies shop opposite his spot. So there are some good eggs about who, like you, see the need and try to help.
It seems to me that society is trying to squeeze the decency and kindness out of us. It is akin to the car parks in Britain with those meters that take coins. It used to be that if you only had a large coin and you overpaid your stay you stuck your ticket on the machine as a gift for the next man but now you have to give your registration number and have a specific ticket for your own car so you can’t pass on your own money to a stranger. A tax on kindness indeed. The same goes for the ‘warnings’ about giving money to the homeless. There are very few in the entire world who asked to be sans abri and if one wants to give ones own money to try and do a pathetic amount to help that should be that. George Orwell would have a field day with the mind control of us masses. What you do is laudable – we can only do what we can do and you do. I am heartened by the pet store – chapeau to them for their good hearts. Good eggs of the world unite but I fear we have such a wall of disinterest from Governments (why would they care …. there’s no money in it) but at least one can do a little and if a lottle people do a little it adds up to something bigger than small.
Good eggs need to be little more hard boiled to challenge the message put out by governments…. to realize that it has to be challenged if any large scale change is to happen.
We do and I am increasingly your girl. I have a major upheaval on the horizon but once done I absolutely to start making a hard-hitting noise … all support in my suicide mission, gratefully received 😊
Great to see you back and writing a very sensitive and thought provoking post . Sadly homelessness is on the increase here in Ireland and elsewhere. Ralph McTell’s words remain timeless.
The song is timeless and that is the tragedy … wouldn’t it be great if it was an archaic relic with no contemporary meaning? But instead, the problem increases exponentially and seems to be bleeding into countries and countrysides before untouched. I fear that Governments have no appetite to tackle it so it falls to the little we can each do to make a small difference.
May you create many ripples…
I’m minded to …. 🌊
welcome back, Miss O! 🙂 such a delicate and emotional article, with the famous song included, you did touch my heart… again! <3 dunno why, your post has reminded me of some of George Orwell's ideas… because they're still d'actualité, alas!!! 🙁
You should read ‘Eric is Awake’ by Dom Shaw … if you have Orwellian ideas currently evoked it will resonate. ❤️
Ma chère cousine, vous êtes vraiment une princesse! J’ai seulement fait quelque chose très petite. A Truro j’ai vu un homme qui jouait au guitare et son chien était a côté J’achetais un sandwich pour lui et un paquet de dentastix pour le chien. Ils étaient très contents les deux.
Ah Jenny, ma coeur! Tu es vraiment très gentille… chaque petit geste est bien accueilli par ceux qui en ont besoin ❤️
There was a fellow on Facebook for a while who had a project where he spoke to homeless men and women about their lives. It was heartbreaking to realize how quickly and easily a regular life can unravel. A small bit of compassion for people who could very well be ourselves is not much to spare.
I would love to see that. Writing this encourages me via the commentary that if I was minded to start a revolution others might join me, might not cast me out. It is a worthy notion, of course but only if there is a tangible change. I am mulling. I would welcome contact with this person you speak of. Thank you Sarah.
I went looking for it yesterday, hoping to send you the link. I couldn’t find it – perhaps he stopped the project. I haven’t seen an update from it in quite a while. I know there was a short video of him as well – I will keep searching and trying to find it.
You are very kind 😊
Dear Osyth,
This is such a beautiful post by such a beautiful and compassionate person as you. I am finally trying to learn more about wordpress so I can regu
larly read, enjoy and comment on your wounderful posts. I am so sorry that my following is so long overdue! Luv Gary
So lovely to see you here, Gary … I’m glad you enjoyed the post. I needed to tell the story not to blow my horn but to highlight what we know is a mushrooming issue across the developed world. I don’t. Have answers except to exhort kindness and decency because I am pretty sure governments will continue to sit by and do nothing – it’s just too expensive and when catching votes, not sexy at all. I look forward to seeing you when I do post – I’m pretty patchy so you havent missed much 😉
An absolutely beautiful post, and a perfect complement to your earlier one on how you spent your Christmas. You did some wonderful things, and put the rest of us to shame. Thanks for including the song too, it’s always struck me as a great piece of social commentary. Ironically he didn’t play it the first couple of times I saw him play live: I was at uni, and it didn’t become a hit until Christmas 1974 – my final year – having first appeared several albums previously, and hadn’t at that stage become his legacy. I saw him again a few years ago and he introduced it by saying ‘now we come to the greatest hit part of the show.’ A perfect ending to a wonderful story and piece of writing xx
Thank you, Clive. I don’t wish to put anyone to shame but rather just to highlight the issue which is all around us pretty much wherever we live, which governments have no intention of addressing and which therefore any little dignifying or helpful gesture is making a difference to, however small. I love Ralph McT and am hugely envious that you have seen him perform and that eventually you have had the chance to hear him perform that wonderful, most achingly poignant of songs live. Thank you as ever for your support and kind words xx
The homeless don’t get to vote, so they don’t matter. A sad but inescapable consequence of the way governments think, sadly. Ralph is still performing, so if you ever get the chance he’s well worth a visit. It amazes me that he can actually choose which songs to perform, as he has such a vast back catalogue! There wasn’t a dry eye in the house when he performed that, especially as many of us would have seen a couple of rough sleepers on our way to the show xx
Clive, I’m going to check out his tour dates right now! The remark you make about homeless people having no vote absolutely nails the issue to it’s heart – these are considered non-people. How absolutely heartless and appalling. Doubtless I will write more on the subject, I feel the bubbles brewing as I type. Doubtless also it will be good souls like you that understand and dont shy away from the issues … you may call me a dreamer, but I’m not the only one, I hope some day they will join us – and homelessness will be none! Xx
Hope you find one that suits you. It’s a lovely, warm show, just him and his guitar, with occasional piano. He’s a good raconteur too. I’ve got more and more cynical about politics as I age: it’s all about money and votes. Hopefully there are enough who still care. Nice paraphrasing btw xx
😊
This is a story that can happen to any of us. When that downward spiral unfolds it is extremely difficult to climb out! Your compassion speaks a thousand words dear friend. Xx
As so often happens with your posts, I read and then must step away for a day or two and reflect. You touched on so much here that feeds the knot in my belly – a tangled ball of anxiety that is sometimes paralyzing. We are all so close to calamity – one pay cheque away from destitution, one affair, a flu, a cancer, a bad oyster – and yet when we see our fellow humans suffering we somehow look away. I think because of our own fear that that could be us. So we deny and ignore. But not you. You do something. You give hope for us the watchers and for the souls who are in limbo on earth. This is good. You are good. We can do good.
This comment has me streaming – not as a live video but from the eyes. I am frankly amazed that my pathetic words might have that affect and I thank you for sticking with me. We ARE all that close but most of us won’’t get there. My husband’s favourite expression is ‘within a gnat’s cock’ and we may fly that near but we mostly won’t descend into purgatory,. But we can if we will help. Bin big ideas, vast gestures and huge expressions, this is the time for us all to do a little – do it for just one. Make that one the one you give a little to – time, most important, socks (new is even better) and a few coins to give them dignity. My fellow knows that the coins I give him should not be spent on booze. He also knows that I wont judge if he slips … we CAN do good, we really can. I am not at all special. If I can WE can. Susanne, I value you so highly. I hope you are well and not too fragile. I took your last post to heart.
You did wonderful; I feel for the poor soul, next week especially is going to be bitter. But you are right. In our societies, we are disposable. If you don’t fit or cannot keep up with the Capitalist model, like a milking cow drying out, you can hit that pavement, quick and hard. Humbling to be reminded all this. Well done!
The thing is this, Franck – you and I both know that we could have. Given our collective past demeanors, that’s a given. But we didn’t. At the age I am now, I feel myself feeling more and more connected with what I might have become, what I was within a gnats cock of being, and I can’t turn away. I’m not perfect, far from it, but if I can make some difference to some one I will. If we all feel the same then we can make the big change just by doing small things. The world that has grown around me in my life I actually pretty much despise. I often say I don’t like people. But the fact is that I have more empathy with the dried up milking cow than the supermarket counting the profits of the cows that can still produce. I guess that’s it. I’m no Angel, I just have the time and the energy to do a little. I wish I had superpowers to make it a lottle.
Same here me dear, same here…
Flawless and effortless power in words that push us to reflect on the tragedy of losing everything we have and must say so good of you to offer help designed to make a difference to lives. Power to your growth as a human being. Such lyrics.
Thank you Vishal, I feel very strongly that we should examine what we can do, however small, for those who suffer. It is that simple. If I can then express in words that notion and effect others and encourage them to do something, then together we make some difference. It is always good to see you here and I value your comments highly.
Half the battle is always won and it’s our perception cum willingness to bring the change in others. Have a good weekend!
And you too … you are so right
Gosh, you are a superstar … I love what you did and also that you managed to tell your tale with clarity and just the gentlest of nudges to remind us that at any point our fortunes could so easily be taken away. Thank you … it’s good to remember humility.
I’m no star, I just know how easy it is to go from being a have to being a have not and facing destitution. And I choose not to forget. I’m glad you enjoyed the post – glad you found it a gentle reminder and not a blunt instrument because I am not here to judge others, merely to recant what can be possible if one is feels so minded.
Everything that can be said is already enshrined above and I am in awe of all the ideas, thoughts, actions and emotions that emanate from the page.
I have just come out of hospital, operated on, nursed medicated and cared for, back to a warm house and seemingly endless offers of help from the French Gov’t. Why me and not the guy with his two dogs sitting outside Lerclerc whose bad knee gets worse and can’t get help because he has no roof under which to shelter?
Life is a capricious lottery and we… or at least I, need the thoughtful generous humane people like you, dear O to kickstart me into action.
First of all, I hope you are progressing well with a strong recovery. Secondly, yes – it is wholly unfair. Losing your home means you lose your entitlement to pretty much everything and become a target for people assuming that you are a layabout, drop-out, shirker, lazy and hopeless. We all have a tendency to ignore things that are a struggle to assimilate and it is hard to approach the man with the dogs outside the supermarket and engage with him as a human. And sometimes the welcome will be less than friendly. Like kicked dogs, the homeless are naturally full of suspicion. But I hope you do find the way to do a little. And be sure, I only do a little – I’m no Mother Teresa, I do what I know I can given the gift of time that I have here, that is all. Most of all, go gently and recover well – I send you warmest wishes to bolster you .
Beautifully written Osyth with such a sad, haunting song. We see it everywhere but like so many things we sometimes become desensitized to the hurt and futility some must live on a daily basis. Thank you for bringing this attention. Maybe we can all do something, besides averting our eyes, the next time we pass by.
Thank you, George. You are absolutely right – it is natural that people do become desensitized to seeing the same tragic tableau played out and growing all around them. And there is fear too, I am certain – after all many of those afflicted are less than savory to behold. I can only rather feebly spread my own word but if the words resonate with some then I have done something and that is always better than nothing 🙂
Thanks Osyth for this sincere and thought-provoking post. I agree that seeing people living on the streets is very confronting on so many levels. Your post is making me reassess how I respond. I watched the Ralph McTell video clip, and was amazed as I had never realised what the song is about. I was first familiar with a more anodyne version of the song, and I thought it was just a rather pretty little tune. Good to listen to it properly. I also like the photo you use for this post as it conveys a lot. I am also really bothered by people photographing strangers and using the images, even with good intentions. It is troublesome to portray poverty as something artful or picturesque.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment… homelessness won’t go away but it is hard for most to know how to engage with those effected. I’m glad to adjust the headset of some and unsurprised that you are one given your serious and learned approach to life which I applaud heartily. I don’t know when I understood the lyrics of the song first …. I doubt it was when I first listened to it. Photographing strangers seems to me a infringement but sadly I tho k you and I are the minority in this age of snap and post … I hope that collective mindset will change before to long- if I don’t want to be an innocent player in someone else’s free slide show, I can’t imagine others if they stop and think about it really do either. My picture was a simple snap with no artistry attached but it seems somehow appropriate.
Thanks Osyth. Serious and learned sounds a bit dour – I have a less cerebral approach to music 🙂
I didn’t mean to make you sound dour … you aren’t but taking a considered and thoughtful approach in life is a much underrated aptitude 🙂
🙂
Having read your so well written post and all those comments I am buoyed by hope that there are still so many caring and compassionate people in our society who want to help others even if they don’t always know how to. I am safe in my small corner of the world but I know so many others aren’t and I do what I can ,when I can, to help. I see that many others do too and surely that is a start. The problems seem insurmountable but we must not let that stop us trying to make a difference. I always try and look at others as someone’s, son or daughter, mother or father as a fellow traveller who may have lost their way. Does it matter how they lost their way? Surely I need to help them regardless – they need to feel human connections- to be safe, to have medical care , to eat when hungry to be able to wash and change into clean clothes. If you don’t feel comfortable making the human connection that’s OK , make the cash connection because there will be other’s who can take your donations and use them in a structured way that can make real changes for those in need. If you can’t make a cash donation give some time. We all have something of value we can share with those in greater need. Thanks for sharing your story Osyth and encouraging us all to unite in compassion and action.
Everything you say here is exactly right. It isn’t about chastising those that feel chary about human contact with those they don’t know – cash does help, donations to shelters and charities help, sorting packages for a charity helps and understanding there is a need, a continuing need, that underpins it all. For me, I am fortunate to have the time in this city and the people I see are now familiar faces and I can afford to approach without fear or suspicion. Not everyone is gifted with the time I have and I wanted to share the message that we can all do a little which may not feel like much but in fact does make some difference. Until Governments are prepared to put in the hard work and money (which in the end comes from all of us and maybe not so popular when our own pocket is dented further) to create housing, job opportunities, rehab where necessary, ongoing support then all we can do is what we can do. And understand that it might just as well be us but for simple twists of fate. Thank you for your thoughtful, compassionate and understanding remarks
Not sure what to write about this having been on the street by my own doing. I know many are not in complete control over their lives but many more carry the burden of mistakes glaringly apparent that can be avoided. Each person in this situation has a story indeed, and all should have a voice, but some will never overcome the situation until they are truly ready.
I hear you. Ever story is different whether we are speaking of those who find themselves homeless or those who never come even close to the prospect. I think one of the greatest issues, the biggest mistakes is to generalize but sadly, with a problem on epic proportions, that is precisely what society tends to do. My favourite joke is ‘how many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one – but the lightbulb has to want to change’ … that’s it in a nutshell …. you can’t force the horse, he has to want to drink but in the meantime we can at least show some compassion 🙂
Compassion is something greatly missing in today’s society. Like you I will do my part.
I know you will my friend 🙂
a splendid post!
I also wrote a post about homelessness …. it’s a problem that is often ignored.
hi, dear Osyth 🙂
a hug
P.S.
Today it’s very cold here in Naples
Thank you so much, Antonio. Finally I have left a comment on your blog too. I loved the post I saw. It is very very cold here in Grenoble. The whole of France is freezing and there is an alert to ensure no-one is sleeping outside in the next few nights. Today I will walk the streets and alert the emergency line if I find anyone who has been missed. I would like to see your post – perhaps you can send me a link to it. Thank you for the hug …. we can never have to many. Bises a toi
here is link:
http://antoniodelsol.blog.tiscali.it/2017/05/27/4758/
It’s a beautiful post … thank you – the words are so poignant and your picture is highly representative of the issue.
thank you so much!
smack 🙂
Your post has touched me just the way this song always has and always will. I think it was one of the first songs I learned the lyrics of at school (I only learned English in 7th grade because we started with latin) when I was a teenager. Since I had to commute each day via public transport from the age of 11, I got to know homeless people and beggars early on. I often shared my lunch with them on my way home, having saved some fruit or chocolate bars for them. I was taught to never give them money, so not to encourage buying drugs etc. Back then that made sense, but nowadays I can only too well understand when they want to buy things that helps them to forget at least a bit. Apart from very few exceptions most welcomed my humble givings though, and whenever I´m doing my shopping for groceries, I still buy some granola bars extra. But your post now makes me rightly wonder, if that is enough? I never really talked to any of them, probably because I was too afraid too when I was younger, and they also only went passing by in the train. I feel somewhat ashamed now, that I still don’t talk to them… But I never know what I could say. Maybe you could help me find a way? It feels somehow so insensitive to ask how they´re doing etc…. xxxxxxxxxxx
I knew this post would touch your heart because your heart is beautiful. I’m glad you learned that song, too. You would have been about the same age as I was when I first heard it. The impact at that point in life is immense. What you did and still do for those suffering in silence is also beautiful. In terms of speaking to them … it isn’t easy to know how to start a conversation. I always smile openly which I think helps. If there is a dog, I ask it’s name and go from there, if there isn’t I might remark on the weather. I do ask how they are today. If I am giving something be it money or food or anything else I have to spare, I will take my cue from their thanks. It isn’t easy, it can feel fake or forced or insensitive but you will be amazed how quickly that feeling diminishes and you are talking just as you would to the person sitting next to you on a bus or a train. Bon courage, my sweet dear friend ….. and start with a smile, it really does warm hearts xxxxxxxxxx
Thank you so much for the tips, Fiona! You’re absolutely right, an open smile is always the best way to start with! I’ve just observed something odd the other day – people who give money almost always seem to do so without even looking at them, like they just want to quickly have it done and want to go away. Whereas I always start with an ‘excuse me’ because I ask whether or not they might be interested in a pack of cookies and the like since you also have make sure they can or want to eat them what with diabetes or allergies. I think I can use this to start a little conversation next time and make further inquiries like which sweets etc they like best. 😊 xxxxxxxxxxx
Yes, I notice that too …. as though somehow the conscience is assuaged but with no risk of being infected. What you do is absolutely perfect and it is right that you should give the option, enquire as to whether they do or don’t want what you are offering. Choice is our right as humans, or should be. Just keep doing what you do — it puts most to shame xxxxxxx
I very much like the idea of your care package. I too am reluctant to take photos of people and think your sheep photo hits the right mood for your post.
Thank you so much. I feel that if we can we should. I’m glad you share my sentiment on photography and that you felt the sheep hit the spot!
When I pray for my grandchildren, I always ask that they be blessed with kindness, respect and compassion. They are traits sorely lacking in the world. Teaching our kids to give of themselves to those less fortunate is the responsible thing to do, and with setting good examples, compassion becomes an automatic response for them. I tell them even a smile is a valuable gift if you have nothing else to give. Thank you for being such a beautiful example! By the way, I have never heard that song before – it is powerfully poignant.
You are so right …. educating our children is crucial. The world at large may not set a good example but we can make sure that they are kind, respectful and compassionate and that they can make a difference with a smile, a kind word a simple gesture of goodwill that reflects the way they should expect to be treated. I’m glad to have introduced you to that song … I was 13 when it was released and the effect on me is the same now as it was then.