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Coup de Coeur – Part Two: Therefore is wing’d cupid painted blind!

We fell in love on the internet.  It’s the modern way.  The one touts their promise, the other falls under their spell and happily ever after they both live.  House and owner.  You didn’t think I was talking about Two Brains and I, did you?  You got  that I am talking about our fragile hearts being ensnared by our Maison Carrée?

The house was advertised all over the place – every single immobilier in France seemed to have it on their books.  Clock forward two and a half years and hindsight and a bit of experience has taught me that this means nothing.  Often an agent will have grabbed the content from an unprotected site and will be advertising it as his own.  But we knew where it was and we knew it was the former Tour Seignoural for the perfect little city it sits plumb central in.  And it is officially a city even though it would appear to be a small village to modern eyes, and we simply swooned when we found the website for the proprietor who was currently running the little jewel as a Chambre d’Hotes.  The description, down to the seductive promise that he is an accomplished masterchef and would  cook you local food  magnificently if you wished and that breakfast was all conjured from the local boulangerie, epicerie, charcuterie, fromagier,  had me wondering why he was selling at all.  After all this three bedroomed beauty, including the miraculous bathroom all  newly fitted, was kitted out with the most elegant antique country furniture clearly snaffled from local houses of some note and auctions and brocantes and the owner clearly had excellent taste.  Hold that thought.

Beware the power of the picture!  Beware the interweb!  What greeted us when we arrived was entirely a different picture.  What on earth induced us to go ahead and buy I am not convinced I will ever know.  A certain madness unexplained.  Assuredly bull-headed stubborn-ness and a sense that this disaster of a place can be, will be, really special and an uncharted recognition that we should be the people to return the house to it’s former unpretentious glory.  And give it a properly appointed bathroom rather than what greeted us which I have flatly refused EVER to use.  And a kitchen that does not stink in that sickly sweet way of festering food complete with maggots and fresh fly-eggs – sadly it became clear that this was the state that unsuspecting visitors who had booked in on-line found the house in and I sincerely hope that none ever took their host up on the opportunity of his unashamedly trumpeted home made meals – rather they hot-footed it to the Mairie to complain loudly and threaten nasty reviews on the very internet upon which we had found the house languishing apparently so alluringly.

Once we had bought the place, once the place was ours we were hit with the reality that HB² is mostly on the wrong side of the Atlantic and that I, although more than once invited to row the Atlantic on account of my once-upon-a-time Olympian prowess as an oar puller, I was simply not equipped to begin, let alone complete the task of emptying the house once the ancien proprieteur had taken what he wanted … you guess that bit surely – anything nice, anything pretty.  Well, he would, wouldn’t he! There follows the account of the next nine months in which we, collectively being Winnie the Pooh, never lost heart.

 …. In the meantime, here I am looking somewhere between despairing and disgusted in the best of the bedrooms the day after we took ownership.

DSCF2206

PS:  The quote is Twelfth Night – Helen declares of her Demetrius that ‘Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is wing’d cupid painted blind ….’

PPS:  Part one of this saga is here

42 Comments Post a comment
  1. You do not look too happy!!! Wow

    Liked by 1 person

    October 6, 2015
  2. I assume that the look of despair and disgust is long gone. Looking forward to Part Three which I assume will lead with the quote ” Now is the winter of our discontent made glorious summer …” in the house you bought. (I had trouble finishing the quote with anything to rhyme with sun and York. I suspect you could do better)

    Liked by 2 people

    October 7, 2015
    • Never assume, Andrew – it makes an ass out of U And me 😉 Glad you liked it – I could probably do a whole post devoted to the various facial contortions the house has provoked so far! In terms of Shakespearian parody, I think you have some future 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      October 7, 2015
  3. can’t wait for more of the saga…and nothing like buyers remorse….xxkat

    Liked by 2 people

    October 7, 2015
  4. Love it!
    And yes, at first I did think it was a love story across the Atlantic and confess to being almost disappointed it was the beginning of the bond between house and owner.
    However, you brave people have obviously made it work and because of that you surely must now be completely immune to any colourful odours or eventful bathroom experiences…. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    October 7, 2015
    • I feel I should probably start writing about the love across the ocean thing …. if only to keep romantics like you happy WBFM! As to the house to quote Karen Carpenter ‘We’ve only just begun ….. ‘ Actually strictly speaking I suppose its to quote Richard Carpenter since he wrote it 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      October 7, 2015
  5. A labor of love? Houses are funny things. The nesting instinct runs deep. I love the pictures!

    Liked by 1 person

    October 8, 2015
    • I think everything worthwhile in life has the heart at its centre …. As for the pictures – they appealed to me too …. I was hooked. The reality which I will post later was a little different 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      October 8, 2015
  6. When I bought my first house I was quite surprised to see that the sink had disappeared.
    The owner made the tenant bring it back.
    However given his problems of extraction it was no longer usable.not by me, at least. As to the light bulbs…the less said the better.

    Liked by 1 person

    October 8, 2015
    • That’s classic, Helen! I’m now burning to know what happened with the light bulbs – though given my experience here and indeed on Marcoles with the blighters it may be best to keep me in the dark 🙂

      Like

      October 8, 2015
      • When i first saw the house there were no light bulbs. After the sink drama miraculously light bulbs appeared – but none of them worked!

        Liked by 1 person

        October 8, 2015
      • Ah! Decorative light bulbs ….

        Liked by 1 person

        October 8, 2015
  7. I love your face on that picture- looks a lot like mine when I discovered some of the hidden “features” Chez Nous.
    The triumph of hope over experience

    Liked by 2 people

    October 8, 2015
  8. PS, looks a little bit like our house but more symmetrical -scary

    Liked by 1 person

    October 8, 2015
    • It’s certainly square …. we must compare layouts!

      Like

      October 8, 2015
  9. Ours looks square from front, but actually has an angled “L” shaped foot print.
    well weird……………………………
    By the way, have I missed an instalment, I can only count two?

    And did he leave any of those mirrors?

    Liked by 1 person

    October 8, 2015
    • No you haven’t – the next bit comes later this evening if I get my act together …. you’ll have to wait and see 😉 Ours is entirely square all round except for a curious bulge between first and second floors at the back. It’s actually surprisingly difficult working with such geometry (mind you I was always pretty pathetic at maths!)

      Like

      October 8, 2015
  10. Lovely house and lovely post. Sorry I have been so long responding, but I have been quite poorly (in fact I was reading this post for the first time, when I realised that I was not well…..
    I have also read ‘part one’
    Do you have any ‘before’ interior photos?
    Lindy x

    Liked by 1 person

    October 9, 2015
    • Please don’t apologise, Lindy … I do hope you are getting better now 🙂 the pictures are all before we bought it – taken by the seller to promote his b&b. You will discover how true the expression smoke and mirrors is in the next installment which I am posting later today 🙂

      Like

      October 9, 2015
  11. Oh, no! I began on 2. Must go back to 1.

    Liked by 1 person

    October 10, 2015
    • Let’s start at the very beginning (I’m a sucker for ‘The Sound of Music’) 🙂 Tomorrow I will be up early (tonight has been rather disfunctional) and take a really good hike round your site. I am very much looking forward to tomorrow 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      October 10, 2015
      • Doe is as good a place as any to begin…My all-time Julie Andrews’ movie is Mary Poppins.Although I know the lyrics to all the songs from both these movie musicals and to My Fair Lady (in which Audrey Hepburn stole the part of Eliza right out from under the actress who should have gotten the film role because she was great in the stage play and had a much better singing voice which wouldn’t have needed to be dubbed and life can be cruel like that sometimes even to Julie Andrews, but I digress…)thanks for stopping by, Osyth.

        Liked by 1 person

        October 10, 2015
      • I can see we have a LOT in common 😀

        Liked by 1 person

        October 11, 2015
  12. It is funny-sweet to read these posts in reverse order. What a face!

    Liked by 1 person

    November 14, 2015
    • Ha! I’m a fan of backwards (the face is just a face though – whichever way you view it!!)

      Liked by 1 person

      November 14, 2015
  13. Pan #

    Just catching up with your posts.. I missed this somehow all along, so rather than start in the middle, I went to part one.. With part 2 I’m captivated and excited to read this renovation adventure ! This could be written oh so many ways.. But you my dear Osyth have the mad writing skills to make this an adventure.. My previous career was restoration and decontamination, you and hubby found a buy that requires both fields.. Can’t wait to see what lies lurking inside those walls as you go !

    Liked by 1 person

    January 15, 2016
    • Oh, I’m so glad you are enjoying the story …. without a story I would be lost! You are very kind about my writing … as our friend the Weird Guy commented to me recently – it just comes out that way. So it’s fortunate if it’s well received! I am most interested in your background – consider yourself on my radar to ask for a bit of advice on certain things. One can never have enough skilled people on the antennae, I feel …. the walls in the cellar are 8′ thick so I hope there are no bodies lurking in them 😉

      Like

      January 15, 2016
  14. Pan #

    Hmmm 8′ thick, that could hold a stack of bodies in one little section 😨
    But no worries, though my knowledge is 25 yrs since I’ve been in the business, the methods and chemicals are tried and true.. And along with various other contamination remediation, dead body odor and suicide were among them.. But I’m guessing you’d might need a bit of therapy upon finding a body or two in the walls..
    This story that isn’t a story has the potential to be a real comedy/horror/drama , written all over it ! 😒

    Liked by 1 person

    January 15, 2016
    • I’m just really hoping we don’t find any poor unfortunate walled in! But I like the makings of this rather gruesome story you have going there!

      Like

      January 15, 2016
  15. Oh, no! Your face really said it all! What a nightmare it must have been! But I´m glad to know that it´s now on its way to beauty and glory! 🙂 Totally love the Shakespeare quote – but then I totally love Shakespeare, so it´s no surprise I do 😉
    And actually your story totally reminds me of my trial end error when internet dating last year! There it was nearly the same – tall, handsome guy in the internet – but something v e r y different when finally met in person!! 😉 xxx

    Like

    March 10, 2017

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Coup de Coeur – Part Three: I beg your pardon … | Half Baked In Paradise
  2. Coup de Coeur – Part Four: Whistle While You Work | Half Baked In Paradise
  3. Coup de Coeur – Part Five: Perhaps he’d like to come inside | Half Baked In Paradise

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