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Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun

It is with an aching heart that I write these few lines. Terry of Spearfruit, who many of you knew and admired, died yesterday afternoon at home with Gary, his husband, at his side.

I am so grateful to Kerry for letting me know by email and for Jodi for posting the sorrowful news in the comment section of Terry’s very last post.

I need not write any more except to acknowledge the numbing pain that Gary must be feeling and to send a heart-full of love to him and to all those close to Terry.

Sleep well, dear friend, at peace and released from your suffering. I’ll be eating cupcakes and ice-cream with you this afternoon even though the sky is suddenly gushing wet, fat, appropriate tears, as I type.

DSCF8075

I would like to dedicate these words to Gary:

Funeral Blues

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

W H Auden

And this one is for you, Terry:

And for everyone who loved Terry:

PS: Because there is always a PS. The picture was taken in Concorde MA a year to the day before Terry took his quiet and sombre leave of us. A year ago we were planning to meet in Massachusetts where Gary was raised. One. Short. Year ago. We none of us know what is ahead, behind the railings, round the corner, through the gate, in the next field. So in honour of this most dignified of men, I ask everyone to celebrate what they have, and to cherish every moment of this little life we are granted. Terry was the same age as me.

137 Comments Post a comment
  1. Beautiful memorial post – with the reflections – sharing – songs and PS – and something about a loved one passing that does change perspective and I like your encouragement to celebrate – and sending condolences your way – and of all who knew This nice man.

    Liked by 2 people

    September 2, 2017
    • Thank you Prior, that is kind of you. I never met Terry. I wish I had. That kind of perspective. He was a wonderful man

      Liked by 3 people

      September 2, 2017
      • Well did not read that u were going to meetup?
        And later I will use the link to peek at his site

        Liked by 1 person

        September 2, 2017
      • Yes, I did say that 🙂 I hope you enjoy his blog. He was always absolutely determined that he would write what HE wanted to write. The strapline was ‘It’s my life’.

        Liked by 1 person

        September 2, 2017
      • Sorry did like my kind of blogger!
        And again – sorry for your loss!!

        Liked by 1 person

        September 2, 2017
      • 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        September 2, 2017
  2. I did not know Terry but do offer my sincerest condolences to all that did. Your post is very moving and a lovely tribute.

    Liked by 1 person

    September 2, 2017
    • Thank you Nadia – you are always so kind. Terry did touch many hearts, mine included. I wanted to write something to reflect that a little.

      Liked by 1 person

      September 2, 2017
  3. I’m so sorry Osyth. Terry’s legacy is now in the hands of all the people who have had their heart’s touched and influenced by him. I’m sure it will endure time.

    Liked by 1 person

    September 2, 2017
    • Thank you, dear friend. You are right and I, too am sure it will 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      September 2, 2017
  4. Oooohh myyy..Osyth…i am saddened by this…been following him …and he’s one of my earliest followers..and i witnèssed his struggles in the hospital thru his blog post updates…oh my..may he rest in peace.

    My heart sank…😏😏😏

    Liked by 1 person

    September 2, 2017
    • I send you love Mich. It is very very hard but I am certain he is peaceful now and as you know so well, his struggle has been harsh and relentless. Take care of yourself. I will keep you in my thoughts 🙏🏼

      Liked by 1 person

      September 2, 2017
      • Thank you Osyth…i still am in shock i must say..so many deaths lately..among the people i knew…far and close..ahh life….

        Liked by 1 person

        September 2, 2017
      • And that is why we must cherish what we have while we have it. Death walks amongst us as a constant companion to life. I am sorry you have had such a sad time lately. I hope that the sun shines bright for you soon

        Liked by 1 person

        September 2, 2017
      • Amen to that Osyth..🤗

        Liked by 1 person

        September 2, 2017
      • 😊

        Like

        September 2, 2017
  5. Thank you, I have been looking out for a post about him but didn’t see Jodi’s comments. I had assumed the worst. I am so grateful he is no longer suffering. Lovely post. I have been sending love and support to Gary all week. I hope he knows how much we all care and are thinking about him. 💜

    Liked by 3 people

    September 2, 2017
    • Terry always declared that he wouldn’t let Gary near his blog because he would break something vital … I guess that’s why Jodi had to post as a comment. Anyhow. I share your feeling of gratitude that he is no longer suffering. I had the heaviest feeling when I woke this morning. I was convinced he had gone. Then Kerry emailed me. I too hope that Gary knows how much we care. I guess all we can do is keep sending that love and support through the ether. I believe he will feel it strongly. I think Terry will make sure he does.

      Liked by 3 people

      September 2, 2017
      • I knew late yesterday afternoon/ early evening, I turned to my husband and said ‘I think Terry’s gone.’ I thought Terry might have asked Gary to write a post when he was up to it. I have left a reply to Jodi on Terry’s blog. Sending virtual hugs 💜

        Liked by 2 people

        September 2, 2017
      • You are a lovely and extremely sensitive soul … I am proud to know you

        Liked by 1 person

        September 2, 2017
      • Thank you, 🙏🏻💐

        Liked by 1 person

        September 2, 2017
      • Every word meant 😊

        Liked by 1 person

        September 2, 2017
  6. Thanks so much for letting us know about Terry. Will surely miss him. Condolences to his friend and his family. Beautiful memorial song and pictures.

    Liked by 2 people

    September 2, 2017
    • He meant so much to so many … he will be dreadfully missed. His bereaved loved ones have much sympathy and I am sure they will pick it up through the ether. I am glad you liked the song – to me it captures the very essence of losing someone. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. It is appreciated.

      Like

      September 2, 2017
      • Welcome Osyth and I found him so energetic till the end and was thinking from yesterday what must have happened to him. He has gone to a beautiful place where there is no suffering at all. He is at peace. The poem was awesome

        Liked by 1 person

        September 2, 2017
      • Thank you … it is a gem, I think. That beautiful place is the richer for his wonderful spirit. I believe he reached out to many of us as he passed … I am seeing numbers of comments like yours which echo my own experience of ‘just knowing’. This morning as I walked with my dog, and before I had the news, I distinctly felt a hand in mine. About two weeks ago he said to me in a comment ‘may I put my hand in yours’. He deserves paradise, he really does 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        September 2, 2017
      • So beautiful and where has he gone only his body died he is ever present with us and one thing I liked about him was his positive attitude. Yes he reached out to many people and touched us in his own way. Thanks Osyth for these wonderful words on Terry.

        Liked by 2 people

        September 2, 2017
      • It’s a tiny thing. To write words. I am glad they are of comfort. And yes. The body may wither and die but the spirit is eternal and Terry had the MOST infectious spirit so we will feel him whenever we or he feel the need

        Liked by 1 person

        September 2, 2017
      • Yes absolutely true.

        Liked by 1 person

        September 3, 2017
  7. A very nice memorial to you friend. My sympathies.

    Liked by 1 person

    September 2, 2017
    • Thank you Chris. I felt I should write something. Your sympathy is appreciated very much.

      Liked by 1 person

      September 2, 2017
  8. Touching! May we all heed your words of wisdom to cherish what we have.

    Liked by 2 people

    September 2, 2017
    • Thank you. When misting with tears I think it so important to remember that we are still living and the greatest way to respect our dead is to respect our life. Which surely is a gift?

      Liked by 2 people

      September 2, 2017
  9. You have poured your heart into the post. may the departed soul rest in peace.

    Liked by 1 person

    September 2, 2017
    • Thank you. My heart is heavy but it is still beating. If what I believe in is true then his soul is in peace. I am indebted to you for your kind comment.

      Like

      September 2, 2017
  10. A beautiful and moving tribute Osyth and my sympathies and condolences to all who knew Terry.

    Liked by 1 person

    September 2, 2017
    • Thank you Andrew. I never met Terry and yet I knew him. Throughout his illness his was the only blog I visited every day and if I knew I was going to have to miss a day or so, I always let him know. Why? Because I cared about him and I knew he appreciated it. I am very very sad that he has departed but his struggle was heartrending and if ever those trite words ‘it’s a release’ applied they apply now. My thoughts are with his Husband and his family. My grief is thin in comparison. You are a truly good man and I am proud to know you and call you friend.

      Liked by 2 people

      September 2, 2017
  11. After reading your moving tribute, I visited Terry’s blog (I had not visited it before) and read some of his posts where his courage and honesty shine through and reflect his integrity. Cancer is so heartbreakingly cruel and the resilience it demands from everyone connected to it, and most especially those suffering with it is indescribable. I am thinking of Terry and those who love and care about him with deep respect, sadness and sympathy.

    Liked by 1 person

    September 2, 2017
    • Thank you. Thank you for being moved to read Terry’s posts. When I first ‘met’ him he was happy-go-lucky with nothing to trouble him except whether he and his husband should or shouldn’t sell their house and where they should move. NO sooner had they decided not to settle on a location but rather buy an RV and travel North America for a while than the nagging niggle in his waters was diagnosed as Cancer. YOu have read some of the rest. To say it was humbling to be part of his journey is pathetic. I miss him. I never met him. I thank you for being the extremely decent person you are. A caring soul. And for bothering to take time out to see what I was wittering on about. I am glad to ‘know’ you. Very very glad.

      Liked by 2 people

      September 2, 2017
      • Thank you Osyth and for your deep and generous caring.

        Liked by 1 person

        September 2, 2017
      • If I can’t care and give then what is this life worth?

        Liked by 2 people

        September 2, 2017
  12. You are right , life is a gift.
    We should appreciate and enjoy this perfect present that we all have in common, for the time we hold it and in memory of those who no longer walk among us.

    Liked by 2 people

    September 2, 2017
    • Thank you, Gill. That speaks my heart ❤️

      Like

      September 2, 2017
  13. 😦 I wish I had known him… Hopefully we will meet in another world

    Liked by 2 people

    September 2, 2017
  14. I’m so very sorry for your loss. You chose a perfect poem.

    Liked by 1 person

    September 2, 2017
    • I could think of no better. Thank you for your kindness. Though I never met him, Terry was a friend of mine

      Liked by 1 person

      September 2, 2017
  15. such a beautiful tribute Osyth! I am teary again. Oh how we all loved that sweet soul! ❤

    Liked by 4 people

    September 2, 2017
    • It just felt right to write. I will email you later. You are a dear sweet soul too, you know. That’s why he loved you ❤

      Liked by 2 people

      September 3, 2017
  16. This is a beautiful post and I thank you for letting us know about Terry’s death. I’ve been worried sick about him given the silence on his blog. Such a huge loss for the blogging community.

    Liked by 2 people

    September 2, 2017
    • What prompted me to write something immediately was this overwhelming feeling that people like Peggy (spoons … he loved your spoons) would be worrying with no word. He always said he wouldn’t let Gary near his blog because he was bound to break something so I knew he wouldn’t post anything and anyway, he must be in pieces. Terry leaves an unfillable whole and in his name I hope we all stay the close knit community that we were around his posts. I send YOU hugs today

      Liked by 3 people

      September 3, 2017
      • My heart aches for Gary especially. As you said, he must be in pieces. I’m so glad Terry’s family members made the effort to come see him. I suspect Gary impressed upon them how dire the situation was. And now Terry’s blog will remain with the last post ending on the word—Death.

        Sending hugs back to you along with some virtual spoons.

        Liked by 1 person

        September 3, 2017
      • Extremely poignant and I have a suspicion quite deliberate. He planned minutely and I wondered when I read that last post if he was taking his blog to it’s full stop that day. I too am so grateful that his family members travelled to see him and am certain Gary worked hard to ensure they understood the gravity of the circumstances. I am glad to have you in my life, Peggy. Very glad. X

        Liked by 1 person

        September 3, 2017
      • Totally reciprocal. I wish I’d known you were in France. I would have made the effort to meet you when we were there earlier this year. Opportunities can come again. Perhaps a bloggers’ face-to-face in some location.

        Liked by 1 person

        September 3, 2017
      • It was your bicycling in France that finally made me think I must follow you (I was the skulker that puts the views up but doesn’t say anything 😉). There will be opportunity here or there or somewhere else entirely. I have in mind a Bloggers Meet in France and I may be back in the US next year and would think of the same. Failing all I shall just have to do a regal tour. And I do have a brother in Perth, Cousins in Melbourne and an Uncle and Cousins in Hervey Bay and cousins in Papua so I really should make the effort to fly that way too!

        Liked by 1 person

        September 3, 2017
      • The red carpet is ready to be rolled out anywhere.

        Liked by 1 person

        September 3, 2017
      • We can sashay and shimmy down it together!

        Liked by 1 person

        September 3, 2017
  17. I’m sorry your friend has passed away. You have written a beautiful tribute to him ((hugs))

    Liked by 1 person

    September 3, 2017
    • I never expected to make real friends when I started blogging. But I have and Terry was one of my closest. Thank you for your kind words … I felt I should acknowledge his passing. It felt the right thing to do xx

      Liked by 3 people

      September 3, 2017
  18. Dreadfully sorry for the loss of a good friend. Thinking of you and all of Terry’s community.

    Liked by 2 people

    September 3, 2017
    • Thank you Susanne … when one loses someone it elicits an instinct to hug those left extra tight. If we keep that feeling of gratitude and mutual understanding and cherishing we remain conscious of what a precious gift life is … I am grateful to have you in mine at some level

      Liked by 1 person

      September 3, 2017
  19. Thank you so much for letting us know. Terry’s mental strength was amazing. The world can’t afford to keep losing kind, gentle souls like Terry.

    Liked by 2 people

    September 3, 2017
    • I didn’t want people who cared to be wondering. He was extraordinary and the most amazing thing was that he had no idea how strong he was. Bernadette, you are right … so those of us left must nurture the gentle souls and teach the world how much it needs them

      Liked by 1 person

      September 3, 2017
  20. Beautifully said my friend…one day, I will hold his hand an we will slide down moon beams together, forever laughing, a true gentleman, friend I will miss him more than I can say…my heart is with Gary and family….I have nothing left but hot tears….xxXXxx

    Liked by 1 person

    September 3, 2017
    • Thank you Kat. You are a wonderful woman whom I know he treasures. I hope Gary can feel the weight of love and sympathy for him. He too is a very special man. Take good care … and watch the stars – you’ll catch him shining down xxx

      Like

      September 3, 2017
      • I wish I could send Gary a hug….he is certainly a wonderful man, the love between those two was palpable, my heart aches for him….Thank you my friend, I believe your a pretty wonderful gal yourself!! I went out and danced in the moonlight last night and I swear I heard him laughing…..XXXkat

        Liked by 1 person

        September 3, 2017
      • Oh how that makes my heart sing! I am certain Gary can feel the love pouring through the ether. He must have known through Terry’s battle how many people were batting for him, cheering him on and in the end trying to soothe him. I just hope the family have rallied to him a bit and that he has strong support from his own. Did you know he is from Salem? He was brought up next door to the Witches House xxx

        Like

        September 3, 2017
      • Makes total sense now…LOL I knew he had special powers, Gary is a very wonderful man, and I wish him nothing but love, and peace…kat

        Liked by 1 person

        September 3, 2017
  21. Chiming in with others here to express my condolences. I skipped over and read some of Terry’s last posts. How brave he was to have shared his journey, and lucky to have be surrounded by caring friends, near and far. Still, far too young. Far too sad…. xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    September 3, 2017
    • I’m glad you took a look Mel … his was a courageous voice. He made real friends and he has left an unfillable hole …. the good ones do that – make it impossible to forget them. Thank you for your lovely words …. he was and it is xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      September 3, 2017
  22. So sorry for your loss Osyth, even friends we didn’t know make our heart ache when they go.

    That 3rd paragraph I read at my Husbands funeral. I first heard it from a movie, and it touched me then, held me strong through my reading, and makes me cry now. Powerful words, images and feelings – in four lines of text.

    Liked by 1 person

    September 3, 2017
    • Oh Claudette, my heart aches often for you. To lose your soul mate so young … Auden’s poem is magnificent and the way that Curtis used it in the film I think you are referring to was incredibly moving. Thank you always for your kind words

      Liked by 1 person

      September 3, 2017
      • Ah, don’t let your heart ache for me Osyth, I am ok, I manage as best I can, and find that the sharp pangs come less often these years. Thank yo for always being so kind, sharing your life and welcoming others into it. I am so glad I am a small part of your blogging life 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        September 4, 2017
      • You are a much bigger part than you realise 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        September 4, 2017
      • Damn, and here I was thinking I had lost weight 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        September 5, 2017
      • 😂 😂 😂 …. thank you my friend, I needed that 😊

        Liked by 1 person

        September 5, 2017
  23. It’s hard to find suitable words, and hitting the ‘like’ button seemed wrong, but I did it for support. I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend, but you’ve done him proud with this tribute xx

    Liked by 1 person

    September 3, 2017
    • He was a good man, Clive. I wrote really because I am sure many knew him but might not realise he has gone but also because I couldn’t let the moment pass without acknowledging it. I am touched by your kindness, as ever and I thank you for your generous words. Xx

      Liked by 1 person

      September 3, 2017
      • I didn’t know him, though I’d seen comments from him on your posts and he seemed a good man. I know how hard it is to write a post like that – I’ve done it too – and I think you got it just right. The Auden poem was used to great effect in Four Weddings and a Funeral, and it fits well here too xx

        Liked by 1 person

        September 3, 2017
      • The Auden fit for a number of reasons that people are free to work out for themselves. It is hard to write such a post – I remember yours … it was one of the first things I read of yours and I remember being so touched even though I didn’t know her. Xx

        Liked by 1 person

        September 3, 2017
  24. A wonderful tribute, Osyth. Terribly sad as is the news, there is much relief in it, too

    Liked by 1 person

    September 3, 2017
    • I agree Derrick – it is a release and a relief. The sadness was that he suffered and struggled so valiantly for so long. I wanted to let you know hence bugging you to read the post (sorry for being a menace on a Sunday morning)

      Liked by 1 person

      September 3, 2017
      • Not at all, Osyth. Interestingly, the post had not yet appeared in the reader when I got your comment, so I was a little confused.

        Liked by 1 person

        September 3, 2017
      • This happens to me from time to time and I find I have not seen one or several posts from blogs I follow … who knows what voodoo WordPress adopts but I DID want you to be aware as I know you have been a sensitive and kind supporter of Terry for many moons

        Liked by 1 person

        September 3, 2017
      • Thanks very much, my friend

        Liked by 1 person

        September 3, 2017
  25. So poignant- I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a friend is so hard, heart wrenching- what a beautiful tribute

    Liked by 1 person

    September 3, 2017
    • Thank you @DailyMusings. You are kind to take the time to comment. It is hard. Death is always hard but serves to remind us that life is not to be wasted.

      Liked by 1 person

      September 3, 2017
  26. munchkinontheroad #

    Dear Osyth,
    Very sorry to hear the passing of your friend. Your post was a beautiful tribute to Terry.
    Warmest Regards,
    Donna aka “MunchKin” of On The Road Cooking

    Liked by 1 person

    September 3, 2017
    • Thank you so much Donna. He was a good man. I always appreciate your kindness, very much

      Liked by 1 person

      September 3, 2017
  27. Pan #

    Reading yours and Kerry’s posts, I think Terry knew in life what would be expressed upon his death.. In that way, I believe you, Kerry and all who loved him, provided comfort and helped him face the hand in life he was dealt..

    Liked by 2 people

    September 3, 2017
    • Pan, I do so hope that is the case and I do believe you are right. And now it is right and proper to live and laugh and love just as I believe he would want us all to. Thank you for commenting. I’ve missed you (but probably because I haven’t been writing much on reflection ….)

      Liked by 1 person

      September 3, 2017
  28. @”Terry of Spearfruit, who many of you knew and admired, died yesterday afternoon at home with Gary, his husband, at his side.” – RIP… 😦 even though I’ve never known Terry…
    * * *
    nous sommes tous de passage sur cette planète… memento mori, carpe diem & gaudeamus igitur! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    September 3, 2017
    • Indeed we do all have to die … it’s the only certainty we have and that is why it is SO important, in recognizing and celebrating our dead that we celebrate our life – it is short this time on earth. You, my friend are one who really gets that ‘passage’ and the importance of relishing every moment. Thank you 😊

      Like

      September 3, 2017
  29. Thank you for posting. My presence on WP has been intermittent lately and I’ve been very conscious of Terry’s failing health. I hope there is someone who can let Gary know just how many people were touched by Terry’s gentleness and dignity. Thanks for the Auden, and the music,and most of all for the reminder to treasure the life we have. Terry was the same age as me too.

    Liked by 2 people

    September 4, 2017
    • It was a vintage year, the year we were born Su … Chatty Kerry made her first appearance too 🙂 I will be in touch with Gary this week and I will let him know. I intend to send him all the messages from Terry’s friends and hope he will find comfort in seeing how much Terry meant to so many.

      Liked by 2 people

      September 4, 2017
  30. I didn’t know until this post, although part of me sensed a corner had been turned, based on a certain silence, and a photo, that heart-breaking photo. I initially could not respond here, despite your beautiful tribute, putting it aside to process later, no ready words. But I’m back now, knowing I should say something, yet still no words. I have anguish within me, because I had an older bit of writing, one that I wanted to share with Terry, about letting go, but I couldn’t do it, I didn’t feel it was my place to do so. But now I’m tormenting myself, wondering if maybe the story could have given him a tiny modicum of peace and I was an ass for not doing my part. The moment slipped away. I apologize for my ramblings, this weakness of focusing on me. I just… still don’t have the right words…

    Liked by 1 person

    September 4, 2017
    • Brian, I saw this yesterday but I did not want to dash off a reply. Above all things please don’t chastise yourself because you missed an opportunity though goodness knows that’s the pot calling the kettle black … Tormenting yourself is fruitless. It truly is. You did do your part. Terry knew there were those for whom the words didn’t spill easily as his deriorarion under the filthy, cruel hand of his cancer played out. He knew there were people who quietly acknowledged with a like or who stood shadowy in the wings. Above all, the man I got to know never ever thought he was good enough, never ever thought he was doing enough. Sound familiar? I recognise you, I recognise me. You are not weak in focussing on you …. read the comments – every single one expresses personal feelings. It’s what grieving does. I spent a little of yesterday trying to find a way to contact you privately. If you have a mind email me at Osyth.storyteller@gmail.com . For no particular reason but to extend the hand of friendship. Terry was a friend of mine. I rather believe you are too

      Liked by 1 person

      September 5, 2017
      • First, thank you for your kind words. Second, despite those kind words, I feel quite guilty for my outburst above. I shouldn’t have done that. I should have honored the spirit of your post, bolstering a lovely tribute. My only weak defense is that hearing the news sent me to a dark, flailing place and I wasn’t my usual self. Third, and here I once again run the risk of stealing focus, I would like to send you the post I wanted to share with Terry but couldn’t. I still want to share it on Bonnywood, but I do not want doing so to come across as crass and opportunistic. I completely trust your wise counsel in this matter, and I will gratefully follow your advice, as I’m torn. Would you mind?

        Liked by 1 person

        September 5, 2017
      • Pah! If I had a quid (dollar) for every moment of regret for opening my mouth or hitting the keyboard, I would be as rich as Croesus – richer probably. Don’t regret, please – apart from anything else it causes un-necessary extra wrinkles. I know Terry would support that notion. I understood and I am certain sure that anyone else reading understood. Terry’s death was expected and yet horribly shocking. I wrote because I felt I wanted to ensure that people knew since Gary was unlikely to be updating the blog at that moment. Yes, yes – please please DO send me that piece. I will attempt to be wise and I am flattered (hopefully in a not showy égoïste way) that you trust me to give an opinion.

        Liked by 1 person

        September 5, 2017
  31. Thank you very much for letting us know, Fiona – I actually read your post on Saturday but I simply couldn’t write… I´m welling up in tears again now that I´m writing this… damn, my keyboard won´t like this… wait…

    okay. I had this odd feeling that Terry´s end was nearing all during the past week, especially after his last post which had me in tears the instant I read it. I suspected he might have planned it to be his last post but hoped against all odds that maybe there would be another post coming… and it didn´t. I didn´t feel his passing like you did but the thought popped up in my mind on Friday that he might be dead in fact, I kind of felt certain of it but still there was hope… and then I read you post one day later and knew for sure.
    In a way, I am relieved of course that he no longer has to suffer, he was in so much pain and I couldn’t bear the thought that it would go on and on and on… No being should have to go through this kind of suffering. But I will miss him so much! So, so much. He was the kindest of men and touched my heart with his energy and honesty. He was special and I´m so glad I met him and that we became friends.

    And yes, death makes us cherish and love the ones that are still with us even more – but to be honest, I could do without…

    xxxxxxxxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    September 4, 2017
    • Sarah, dear Sarah. Don’t try to be strong. Let the feelings of grief, fury, despair wash over you and gradually absorb and dissipate leaving joy and gratitude that you knew him. We walk all the while in the shadow of death …. when the death is a dear, sweet, gentle affecting man who suffered so dreadfully and STILL thought of others it’s harder than ever to bear. But remember how much pleasure you have him …. you did. He treasured you and that is something to carry in your heart your whole life through. I send you warm enveloping hugs and a shoulder to weep into. And most of all, I send you love xxxxxxxxxxx

      Liked by 1 person

      September 5, 2017
      • Thank you so much for those warm enveloping hugs, your words and the shoulder to weep on – they are very much appreciated and needed, Fiona. Everytime I think of Terry and Gary my tears are welling up again. But I try to remember the good times when he made me smile and laugh with those wonderful videos of him dancing, I will always carry them, his smile, his joy, his wonderful words in my heart.
        And it is a bit scary how good you seem to know me already, especially when you said that I shouldn’t try to be strong – that´s exactly what I try to do, and of course I´m failing. It is good to know that I don´t have to be…
        Much, much love and many hugs to you my friend! xxxxxxxxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

        September 6, 2017
      • I am going to speak with Gary this afternoon. I will pass on exactly and precisely what you have said in your notes about Terry. I know it will make him happy. As to knowing you …. I guess I recognise someone who is rather like me. I am proud to know you. Delighted. Strength comes in all sorts of different forms. Being able to cry, being able to allow strong feelings. That is strength just as much as standing stone-faced and refusing to give in. Emotional people (and you can’t create without emotion, surely?) are often the strongest because they can show feeling and therefore tend not to break, maybe bend, maybe crack a little, but seldom break. Here are more hugs and the shoulder for you to cry into is still rock solid xxxxxxxxxxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

        September 6, 2017
      • Hi Fiona,
        did you reach Gary? I won´t ask how he is for the obvious reasons…
        Thank you so much for letting him know how much Terry meant to me… it´s such a very sweet thing to do and I know you will find the perfect words, just as you always did for Terry … I saw that Gary has posted something on Spearfruit and will try to comment later today… I can only hope to find the right words too.
        And thank you so much for your wonderful and inspiring words about strength and emotions… you are truly a beautiful soul and I´m equally proud to know you. And you know what? It´s been thanks to Terry that we two met – I could not ask for a better gift and way to remember him but by being able to call you my friend.
        Thank you for all the hugs which I return and your rock solid shoulder – both are still much needed and very much appreciated. Much, much love! xxxxxxxxxxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

        September 7, 2017
      • I spoke with him late last night and he is surprisingly good. Surprising himself. So I think he must be watched. He is off to his brother to sit out the hurricane – honestly, talk about a horrible hatful – you lose your husband and then Hurricane Irma, possibly the biggest on record, decides she’s going to head straight for your RV. Anyway, he was delighted at your kindness and I have promised that I will ring again at the weekend. If you would like, I can share his contact details with you … he is happy to be contacted and I know it is bringing him huge comfort. We talked about Terry’s legacy to us all and you are so right … he brought you and I together and you are what my daughter’s call ‘a lifer’. And that makes me so happy and I know that it makes Gary happy and I know that Terry is happy too. I do know it.

        So much love to you dearest Sarah. This is a song I sent to Terry quite early on in his diagnosis when he was struggling to come to terms with things and felt very exposed – it is my gift to you today with love from me. And Terry https://youtu.be/OV5_LQArLa0 By way of explanation, beyond the obvious my husband is from Liverpool and the song, as sung by Gerry and the Pacemakers is the anthem not just for the football team but for the city. A city that has stuck together through the darkest of times. My husband wanted me to share it with Terry. I know he would like you to share it too (by the way, he is in Germany this weekend 🙂 ) xxxxxxxxxxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

        September 7, 2017
      • I hear you, and I think it´s good for Gary to go to visit his brother, he shouldn’t be alone right now. And thank you so much for offering to share his contact details with me! But right now I´m not fit enough for a call, I think. I still have problems even saying Terry´s name without tears and I don´t want to trouble Gary with having to comfort me in the end when it is him who needs it so much more. But later when it´s not so raw anymore, then I would love to. 🙂 I hope you understand?
        Even writing about Terry takes a huge toll from me…
        But I did write a post today at last…

        Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful and inspiring song with me – I´ve never heard it before but I instantly fell in love with it! It´s so very lovely and made me smile through the tears 🙂 Tell your wonderful husband thank you for sharing it with Terry (and me), and I hope he has a beautiful time in Germany and brings you some lovely Ritter Sport chocolate 😉
        Much, much love and many hugs to you! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

        September 8, 2017
      • He arrives with me on Tuesday and if he doesn’t have chocolate I will refuse to let him in the car!! I do understand. Truly, I do. Not only was Terry such a wonderful friend to you but his decline into death was terribly harrowing. I will find post later when I settle down for a good reading session. Gary will be there when you are ready and strong enough to offer support and in the meantime, I will keep you posted (but privately, I think, by email). That song actually comes from a musical called ‘Carousel’ and Gerry and the Pacemakers (who are from Liverpool) recorded it later. My husband, being from the City, loves it. I, being a huge musicals fan, also love it 🙂 Sarah, have you ever seen a movie called ‘Truly, Madly, Deeply’ written by Anthony Minghella (who wrote The English Patient) and starring Alan Rickman? If you haven’t you need tissues but I have found it terribly useful when going through a process of grief. I have re-watched it twice this week … I recommend it to you. You would, really get it, I think. Much love to you, so many hugs and be kind to yourself xxxxxxxxxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

        September 8, 2017
      • Haha! I can imagine this scenario only too well! 😀 (“Where´s the chocolate? Give it to me! Give it to me!”)

        I knew you would understand me… 🙂 😗

        I know the film “Truly, Madly, Deeply” – and when I say I know it, I actually mean I totally and absolutely love it! I cry buckets every time I watch it but that doesn’t keep me from doing it again and again 😉 And you´re right, I think it would be good to watch it again now…
        Alan Rickman is one of my favorite actors, he was absolutely brilliant and when he passed I was so shocked. And Juliet Stevenson is just awesome. I´ve lately listened to her reading Sense and Sensibility and she made me love it even more than I already did 😉

        Wish you a beautiful weekend, dear Fiona! Much, much love and as many hugs as you can stand 🙂 xxxxxxxxxxx

        Liked by 1 person

        September 9, 2017
  32. Sad that you lost a friend. He was a very kind blogger and commented on several of my posts when I first started and didn’t have many readers. Loved his posts a couple years ago about 70’s music. Sending hugs your way.

    Liked by 1 person

    September 4, 2017
    • That is very kind, Jessica. He was a lovely gentle man and he LOVED Seventies music. His death is a sadness to so many which is testimony to the amazing effect his blog has. Your hugs are very much appreciated. Thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

      September 4, 2017
  33. A perfect post for Terry xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    September 4, 2017
  34. I knew you would have a fitting tribute to Terry. I just wrote a few words myself this morning, and scheduled them for posting in a few hours, because I couldn’t let this pass without something for him, as he has been one of my best blogging friends. I already miss him – I can’t believe I will go to his blog every morning and not see something posted. Even during his darkest days, there was comfort dropping by and knowing he was still with us, still fighting. Thank you for these words.

    Liked by 2 people

    September 5, 2017
    • I will visit yours tomorrow Sarah and I know what you have written will be lovely and appropriate. He leaves behind an amazing legacy – I can think of few more inspiring humans. So brave, so gentle, so self-critical and so candid. There was a comfort and like you, I just miss him

      Liked by 1 person

      September 5, 2017
  35. This is a beautiful tribute to Terry. I visited his blog a few times and while I was not a follower of every post I did admire his strength that shone through his words. He will be missed xx

    Liked by 2 people

    September 6, 2017
    • Thank you Christy … I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. He will be missed – he was an amazing and beautiful fellow. Xx

      Liked by 1 person

      September 6, 2017
  36. Dear Osyth, I am sorry that I was the bearer of such news but I knew you would want to know as soon as possible. What a beautiful post for our dear friend who drew such comfort from your words. I had a lovely conversation with Gary which made me feel much less sad somehow. Much love Kerry xx

    Liked by 1 person

    September 6, 2017
    • I was nothing but grateful so oleSe don’t say sorry. I had to write something …. because, you know. I spoke with Gary this evening and it has helped… I am glad we are able to help him in some way. I send you love, so much love xxxxx

      Liked by 1 person

      September 6, 2017
  37. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    September 6, 2017
  38. I just read Gary’s post which was very moving. Terry seemed to be one of life’s gentle souls. It seems so unfair that he had such a rough ending. I had noticed, Osyth, how many times your comments on his posts seemed to say just the right thing. You are a very good friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    September 8, 2017
    • He faced and overcame many challenges in his life. It seems some are destined to have what is a very cruel deck in life. But he loved and was loved and I know that meant more to him than anything. I am just me. I believe one should always try to be the best one can be. But thank you for saying that. It means a great deal.

      Liked by 1 person

      September 9, 2017
  39. I’m so sorry Osyth. I didn’t know Terry but he clearly touched those who’s path’s crossed.. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    September 9, 2017
    • He was a dear man. Kind, gentle and not afraid to share his darker, troubled side. We became good friends and although we never met, I miss him greatly. Proof that, like pen pals, friends made through blogging can become real friends. And should be valued just the same xx

      Like

      September 11, 2017
  40. That’s such a lovely poem!

    Liked by 1 person

    September 11, 2017
  41. Here’s an old-fashioned variation on the title of your post to go along with the other two songs (and which I hope you will find a pleasant diversion):

    Liked by 1 person

    September 12, 2017
  42. Osyth, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved friend. You are in my thoughts. Thank you for sharing this beautiful and moving tribute. Take care. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    September 18, 2017
    • Thank you so much Tonya …. he was a lovely man and I could not let his passing go unrecorded. We live our lives in the shadow of death – it is ours to ensure that the life we live is worthwhile and genuine then we respect those that pass before us. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      September 18, 2017
  43. My sincere condolences and a bunch of belated hugs sent your way, Fiona.xo 💐
    I tend to skip over posts and accidentally miss things. I am so glad and blessed you knew Terry and you were planning to meet Gary, maybe perhaps this may still happen. I have a poem that had an unknown author. I have specified to please read it at my memorial service someday. With being single for a lot of my life, I have had life insurance since age 30 ($100,000) and please donate body parts and just cremate me as my final wishes.
    My kids think I’m morbid, but I was single more years than married. Please delete if you don’t like this or too long. . . Love the post for Terry. I had run across his comments but never fully “knew” him. Busy life and I usually am “best” at keeping up with those who are there at the moment.
    🌻 Author Unknown:
    Do not stand at my grave and weep
    I am not there , I do not sleep.
    I am a thousand winds that blow, 🌬
    I am the diamond glints on snow. ☃
    I am the sunlight on ripened grain, 🌾
    I am the gentle autumn rain. 🌧
    When you awaken in the morning’s hush, 🌤
    I am the swift uplifting rush
    of quiet birds in circled flight. 🕊
    I am the soft stars that shine at night. 🌌
    Do not stand at my grave and cry,
    I am not there, I did not die.”
    💓

    I have painted the natural elements in this for only one person, whose Dad came to America at age 55 and it was his dream. (Christmas, 2016) and unfortunately he was from Philippines and caught a cold, it went into pneumonia and passed away Spring, 2017. Felda and my Filipino friends put this by the altar at his memorial service and then, she took it and her Mom back to the Philippines to their “shanty” town (her words) and they posted this in their home town church.
    It makes me cry but it fills me with the everlasting Love that Life can hold, beyond death. . . Hope this may help anyone else who may wish for comfort. 🕊 Love you, Fi. ((Big hugs))

    Like

    September 30, 2017
    • I certainly will not delete this. It is beautiful. I have come across the poem before and it brings the tears forth because I believe it to be true. Your wishes are not morbid they are lovely. Terry was my friend even though we never met. Just as you are my very slightly older sister from a different mister. Love is all enduring and it is the solution to all our problems if we let it be. And that is all the loves. Not just the love between lovers but familial love, maternal, paternal, fraternal, child, friend and if we grasp that then we are eternal. I do believe that. Because we live on in the hearts of others. And we live in the soil we have trodden and in the air we have breathed. We are part of an eternal circle. Your story has me in tears, but they are good tears and I thank you xx

      Liked by 1 person

      September 30, 2017
      • Thank you for reading about my friend, Felda’s father. He was working for Habitat for Humanity and he was packing up shoes for the shoe-less children, buying new pairs and asking others to do so, hoping to pack up for the Philippines and mail. In my drawing I included shoes and the elements of nature.
        I’m glad and honored to be your eldest sister from another father, Fiona. Blessings on you, who touch so many with your caring, sensitive soul. 💞

        Liked by 1 person

        November 6, 2017
  44. ❤️🙏💐

    Liked by 1 person

    October 3, 2017
    • Thank you Arati … your thoughts and prayers are very much appreciated 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      October 3, 2017

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